Solosexual: Millennial's Jack Off Revolution | Masturbation over Sex

Solosexuals, Bate Buddies and the Changing Rules of Male Sexuality  

 

According to a recent survey, almost one in three Americans under the age of 30 do not want to label themselves as either completely straight or completely gay[1]. When asked to use the Kinsey Scale[2] to describe their sexuality, 29% placed themselves somewhere between a 0 and a 6 (where 0 is exclusively heterosexual, and 6 is exclusively homosexual). Almost 20% chose either a score of either 1 or 2, suggesting they're not totally straight but not really bi either. 

 

So, what impact does this have on the way we define sexuality and attraction today? Well, for one thing, we're starting to see new ways of describing more fluid sexual preferences in our mainstream media. Terms like 'mostly straight', 'straight-ish', 'heteroflexible', 'homoflexible," g0y' [3], 'homosocial', 'questioning', and 'solosexual'. This article takes a look at the last of those terms—solosexual. We ask what it means to be solosexual and consider the impact that solosexuals are having on the way we define ourselves as modern men. Along the way, we'll also take a look at the world of bate buddies and bate nights and check out some porn sites you may not have seen before. 

  

What is a Solosexual? 

 

Let's start with a few basics: A solosexual is someone who prefers masturbation over other forms of sexual activity. This means, in very general terms, partnered sexual activities don't turn solosexuals on as much as pleasuring themselves. But 'solosexual' is a confusing term as some solosexuals don't always masturbate alone. In fact, there's a growing subculture of solosexuals that like to masturbate in chatrooms or on interactive masturbation forums. These sites include Chaturbate (which has male, female, couples and trans streams) and BateWorld (which is male-only). There are even a growing number of clubs, venues, and dedicated events around the world for solosexuals or other masturbation enthusiasts—where they can get together and get themselves off. These are the bate nights we mentioned earlier. 

 masturbate solosexual

But what really defines solosexuals in the context of modern sexuality is that it's the act that's important, not the gender of the person or people who are present while it takes place. BateWorld, for example, bills itself as "the worldwide j/o community for men"—sexuality and sexual orientation doesn't even get a mention. 

 

For this reason, solosexuality is a defining shift in culture, gender, and sexual dynamics. It takes away the shame of masturbation and turns its privacy and self-gratification from a vice into something that can be celebrated. It also gives permission for guys (or girls) to jerk off in the same room—or on the other end of a webcam—with people of the same gender without it being considered a gay activity. Indeed, some solosexuals argue that it's not gay (or even straight for that matter) as no-one else is physically involved. For that reason, solosexuality can also be a divisive and controversial term in some parts of the gay and lesbian communities with claims that this lifestyle suppresses latent gay feelings and to avoid the social consequences of coming out. 

 

Solosexuals take their time, and they have some tips for you too 

Solosexuals generally like to take their time when they're jerking off. They will probably have an advanced repertoire of masturbation techniques designed to keep things fresh during their prolonged sessions. Wherever it takes place and whoever is present, a solosexual masturbation session is not a rushed event. It's about taking your time, exploring your body, getting to know your own most intimate spaces, and satisfying yourself as no-one else can. It's not a quick jerk off in the shower when you're running late for work! As such, solosexuals have a few tips and tricks that almost every guy could benefit from. 

 

Use some lube

First off, you can be sure that solosexuals use lube. If you're going to be stroking one of the most sensitive parts of your body for 30 minutes or more, you're going to have some good quality stuff on hand. So long as you're not using any toys, you can pick from water-basedsiliconeoil, or hybrid lubes. If you want to use some toys, then stick with a water-based option—there are plenty of choices, even within that category.  

 

Try some toys to build your stamina 

While we're on the subject of toys, solosexuals aren't adverse to experimenting with male masturbators—particularly when they're building up their endurance. Discreet versions of the famous Fleshlight and other male masturbators give solosexuals a way to build stamina, last longer, and have powerful orgasms. But you don't have to be solosexual to try one, and you don't need to use a discreet one either. They come in all shapes, sizes, and colors, and some of them are meticulously modeled on the world’s leading porn stars! If you haven't taken a pocket pussy for a ride, then you're seriously missing out. 

 

Give edging a go 

Solosexuals also use edging to extend their stimulation and to hold back from shooting their load too quickly. If you're not familiar with the term, edging is where you jerk off to the point just before orgasm—then you step back and repeat the process. Done right, the intensity will increase each time you almost cum. Over 20-30 minutes, your entire body should be shaking with anticipation and delayed pleasure. When you do finally cum, you'll finish with the most profoundly intense orgasm you've ever experienced.

 

Edging does take some practice, and the male masturbators we mentioned earlier will definitely help you out on that score. But Pornhub and other porn sites also can assist you. They have a growing number of guided masturbation videos designed to train you to be a better edger and a slower finisher. Some use music or sound pulses—along with the model of your choice—to help you regulate the speed and frequency of your strokes, the time of your session, and your final release. 

 

Prostate play—a natural fit for solosexuals?

A lot of solosexuals are into prostate play too—and with good reason. Prostate orgasms are generally much more intense than regular ones and take longer to build. You should allow at least 30 minutes, with some guys setting aside a couple hours. You can also have multiple prostate orgasms before finishing off with the kind of monumental blowout that's usually reserved for porn star cum shots

 

The prostate gland is often called the male G-Spot—or P-Spot—and if you stimulate it properly, you'll know why. You'll find your prostate gland about three inches inside your ass between your bladder and your cock. Solosexuals are generally sexually progressive have already broken down a lot of traditional boundaries. So it's not a big deal for most of them to directly stimulate their prostate from inside their ass with a finger, prostate massager or anal probe, and plenty of lube.

 

But if you don't feel comfortable with that idea, then you can externally stimulate your prostate by gently massaging the area of skin between your butt and your balls. Its formal name is the perineum, but you might also know it as your taint or your gooch. Perinuem massaging is very popular, enough so that you can buy prostate massagers with a perineum stimulator or more general massagers that will enhance that experience for you too.  

 

Blurring the lines? Got yourself a bate buddy? 

Some solosexuals do hook up with a partner to jerk off with. Like regular relationships, they can be a single encounter, a series of casual meets or something more formal and long-term—they're often called bate buddies. It's important to say that most bate buddies are not gay—or at least they don't identify as gay men. They're just two guys that like to jerk off at the same time, in the same place—kind of like going for a beer or playing a round of golf.  

 

But here's where it gets blurred, and the Kinsey Scale we talked about right at the start comes into play. Those people who scored themselves a 1 or 2 might take the opportunity afforded by a bate buddy scenario to cross briefly into some mutual masturbation, frotting or erotically touching each other in some other way. Kissing is usually a no-no (but not always) as is sucking, and there's rarely any anal intercourse. 

 best friends

In some parts of the world, there are jack off clubs that cater to this growing trend—like Rain City Jacks in Seattle and Music City Jacks in Nashville. They are not gay clubs, but they are men-only venues. And, although most of the action in these places is pure solosexual play, the door is always literally and metaphorically open to for some bate buddy hook-ups too, so long as everyone involved is consenting. In case you're wondering how you can tell, most bate clubs and events will hand out wristbands or other easy-to-understand, non-verbal ways to communicate those preferences.

 

Solosexuals, solo porn and bate sites 

There are also some porn sites that follow similar lines. They don't brand themselves as explicitly straight, gay or bi but feature male solo videos and some bate buddy fantasies. If you'd like to know more about these, then it's worth checking out sites like ChaosMen and Straight off Base

 

The solosexual legacy

 

'Solosexual' is a relatively new term, so it might seem strange to talk about its legacy at this point in time. But regular use of the word and others like it have opened up a long-overdue discussion about men, sexuality, gender, and attraction. It's a good conversation to have as it makes the traditional labels—and prejudices—that we attach to ourselves and our friends less relevant. And, although 'solosexual' is still a label, it is a label with fewer boundaries and a whole load more possibilities. Perhaps that will be the ultimate legacy of the solosexual in wider society.  

 

[1] Study Finds 1 Out 3 Millennials Doesn't Identify As Straight Or Gay

[2] The Kinsey Scale

[3] G0y

[4] Straight Men Who Masturbate Together Say It Isn't Gay

 

Danny Garrett

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Danny Garrett

CERTIFIED SEXUAL WELLNESS EXPERT

Daniel Garrett is a certified sexual wellness expert through the Eldorado Sexual Health Board where he graduated with honors. Daniel's specialty is helping marriages as well as other relationships which struggle with having a healthy sexual presence. When a man is uncertain about his manhood it leaves him with a sense of self-doubt which typically will start to deteriorate any sexual relationship he may have with any partner. By helping men overcome their interpersonal self-doubt issues regarding their penis size and sexual function, Daniel is able to help heal relationships and help take these same relationships to the next level. Daniel's writing can be found on such websites such as The Enhanced Male, Marriage.com, as well as many others. Daniel has helped develop such relationship tools as silicone cock rings to help men achieve lasting results in bed.

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