Edging is a sexual exercising designed to extend pleasure by repeatedly bringing yourself right to the point of orgasm without going over the edge. Over time, Edging will help you last longer and will improve your sexual performance. Designed specifically for men, edging is done during masturbation and involves getting stimulated to the peak of arousal, stopping, waiting, and then beginning the sexual build-up again.
So why would anyone want to postpone the knee-shaking, earth-quaking, leg-twitching release that is an orgasm? Edging can make you last longer during sex, help you feel more in control of your orgasm, and make the orgasm feel even more intense and earth-shattering when it finally comes.
Edging forces you to become more aware of your sexual response, which often helps you become more connected to your body and more mindful of the stimulation you are experiencing. Whether explored alone or with a partner, edging can help you gain understanding and control of your body.
Edging can also shift the emphasis away from orgasm, which can help you enjoy the sexual journey instead of being too hung up on the destination. So many people think of orgasm as the goal of sex or masturbation.
However, I’ve had incredible sex where nobody orgasmed and mediocre sex where we both orgasmed. By shifting the focus away from orgasm, you can work on finding ways to make the journey more communicative, pleasurable, and exciting. Particularly for folks who experience anxiety about cumming, being explicitly told that the goal is not to orgasm can help you let that anxiety go and enjoy the stimulation received. Also, for folks who experience premature ejaculation, edging can help you better understand your sexual response and train yourself to last longer during partnered sex.
The Sexual Response Cycle and Edging
The sexual response cycle explores the changes that can happen to one’s body as one receives sexual pleasure. The sexual response cycle goes through four phases: Desire, Arousal, Orgasm, and Resolution. Although each person takes a different amount of time to go through each stage, understanding how you cycle through the phases can help you better understand your body and increase sexual pleasure.
Understanding the sexual response cycle is also imperative when exploring edging, as it can help you learn what bodily signs to look for when starting and stopping the stimulation.
The first phase is desire, during which one begins to experience a strong physical, emotional or chemical yearning for sexual stimulation. In this phase, one’s sympathetic nervous system activates, increasing heart rate and breathing. If you have a vulva, your nipples may become hard, and your vagina may begin to moisten. If you have a penis, your testicles may swell, and some liquid may appear at the tip of your penis.
In this phase, one’s sympathetic nervous system activates, increasing heart rate and breathing
During the arousal phase, the bodily responses from the desire phase will continue, and the body will begin to prepare for sex. In this phase, Vaso congestion will occur, where the body tissues around the genitals swell due to increased blood flow in the genitals. This makes it harder to form a thoughtful sentence (because all the blood has left your brain) but easier to think sweet dirty thoughts.
With increased blood flow, the penis becomes erect, and the clitoris enlarges. As arousal continues, the vagina will lengthen and loosen and turn a darker color while continuing to moisten. The testicles will go up into their scrotum, and the penis will often get veiny and more moisture may appear on the tip.
As the sympathetic nervous system continues to activate, heartbeats will continue to increase, as will the experience of muscle tension.
With increased blood flow, the penis becomes erect, and the clitoris enlarge
The orgasm phase is the shortest and most intense phase of the sexual response cycle. During orgasm, heart rate and blood pressure are at their highest. In addition, women will experience involuntary muscle contractions in their vagina, as well as a psychological feeling of release.
Orgasms for someone with a penis involve experiencing contractions at the base of the prostate gland, vas deferens, and seminal vesicles, which often lead to the release of ejaculation. Overall, it’s a good time.
During orgasm, heart rate and blood pressure are at their highest. In addition, women will experience involuntary muscle contractions in their vagina, as well as a psychological feeling of release
During the final phase, the muscles relax, and the body returns to its non-aroused state. Most people experience a feeling of relaxation and joy as all the blood in their genitals begins to go back to their regular duties. Most men experience a refractory period. As their body recovers, they cannot experience orgasm again.
When exploring edging, you are letting intensity build to a place of high arousal, but not orgasm. Everybody’s body is unique and learning the physiological difference between being right on the edge and experiencing orgasm may take some practice. Often, it takes accidentally going over the edge a few times to learn what the edge feels like in your body and to gain some control over it.
When exploring edging, you are letting intensity build to a place of high arousal, but not orgasm
How do I edge? Best Edging Techniques
It is easier to explore your body by engaging in edging yourself before exploring it with a partner. The steps to solo edging are:
- Touch yourself in any way that gets you aroused, and when you feel that you are on the brink of orgasm, stop all stimulation. Wait at least thirty seconds.
- Think about what got you excited and notice how your body reacts when you are on the edge. Are you shaking? Aching to go over?
- Stimulate yourself again and get back to the edge. Notice if it happened faster this time. See if you can get yourself to the edge by giving yourself less stimulation or by thinking naughty thoughts. See how long you can stay right on the edge without going over.
- Repeat steps 1-3 as often as you can/want.
- Let yourself go over the edge - you deserve it! Think about how your orgasm through edging compares to when you go straight for it.
To explore partnered edging:
- Get aroused! Engage in whichever activities allow partners to become excited. Pick one partner who will explore edging during this session (unless you are a pro and want to try edging with both partners at once).
- Stimulate your partner using toys, your tongue, your finger, or your penis until they are at the edge. Create a communication plan so your partner can tell you when they are on the edge. It can be as simple as saying “I’m on the edge” or something more subtle like them squeezing your hand.
- When they give the signal completely stop or slow down stimulation for at least 30-seconds so that they can go back to a plateau.
- Continue steps 1-3 until it is time for them to orgasm. It can increase the intensity of the orgasm if you switch methods of stimulation during each peak. For example, get someone to the edge with oral sex, then see if you can get them to the edge with your fingers, then see if you can get them to the edge with your cock.
- Debrief about how they felt about the experience. Now it’s your turn!
Specific edging methods for men
The Squeeze Method
When you get to the edge, firmly squeeze where the head of your penis (glans) meets the shaft. Maintain pressure for a few seconds or until the feeling of being on the edge subsides.
The Ballooning Method
Find one spot on your penis which feels particularly pleasurable and start touching yourself without touching your whole penis. Touch this area for long enough to feel aroused and close to orgasm. Then stop and allow the arousal to subside before continuing stimulation. This technique is very similar to regular solo edging, but instead of pleasuring the whole penis, you are focusing on one spot.
Benefits of Edging
Through edging, orgasms can be physiologically and psychologically more pleasurable. Indeed, the International Society for Sexual Medicine has found that edging can make orgasms more intense.
Letting orgasms build for some time can build anticipation for the release, making it more exciting when you finally let yourself go. It’s like the difference between staring at chocolate all day and not being allowed to eat it vs. someone just handing you some chocolate. Both are delicious, but the build-up can make them taste even better.
When it comes to orgasm, there is also heightened blood flow and sensitivity that comes with continued arousal, so the release can feel incredibly intense after edging for a while.
Better Sexual Stamina through the stop start method
Edging, or as they used to call it, the ‘stop start method,’ began as a treatment for premature ejaculation.
When you explore edging as a solo activity, you can learn the difference between being on the edge and going over, ultimately giving you far more orgasm control. Specifically, you can learn what your body does when you are on the brink of orgasm and how you cannot go over the edge.
When you explore edging as a solo activity, you can learn the difference between being on the edge and going over, ultimately giving you far more orgasm control
This is practical because when you are hooking up with someone, you can engage in penetration until you are on edge. Then, switch to licking their pussy or butt as you plateau before getting to the edge through penetration again. You can also develop cognitive mechanisms by exploring edging that help you to last longer. No, I’m not asking you to imagine your grandma when you’re on the edge, but perhaps there are specific thoughts you can explore which may prevent you from going over the edge too soon or help you to get there faster, depending on the circumstances.
All of this can first be explored through edging alone and then with a partner. Remember, if you continue to pleasure your partner even if you go over the edge too soon, it is not the end of the world, but gaining control over your body and orgasms can help you have more prolonged and pleasurable sex.
More confidence when practicing sex
There can be a lot of pressure when having sex as a man, especially when it can feel like if you orgasm too soon, your partner will not experience as much pleasure as they can. Of course, there are ways to work with this, like engaging in a lot of foreplay before intercourse, using sex toys, and continuing to pleasure your partner once you orgasm, but there is a lot of power in feeling in control of your orgasm.
Edging can help you to understand and gain control over your body
Edging can help you to understand and gain control over your body. This can help you have more confidence in your performance when entering a sexual situation.
More awareness of how your body works
It is well-known that one of the best indicators of having a satisfying sex life is spending the time to explore your own body (i.e., masturbation!). Edging is a great way to learn about your pleasure and how your body reacts to different types of stimulation. You can fantasize and see what thoughts bring you closer to the edge and which ones bring you further away.
Learning about your body through edging can also give you a greater understanding of your body so that you can be more informed when talking to a doctor about potential issues such as desire issues, premature ejaculation, or anorgasmia (inability to orgasm). If you are experiencing any sexual health issues, edging and exploring your pleasure can easily translate to better health outcomes.
If you are experiencing any sexual health issues, edging and exploring your pleasure can easily translate to better health outcomes
To play with power
It can be very arousing to take control of your partner’s orgasm and bring them to the brink of release without letting them go over. Of course, you must converse with your partner beforehand and never delay someone’s pleasure without consent. However, with consent, you can have fun getting your partner to the edge and making them beg for you to let them finally let go.
Are there any risks with edging?
I will never forget the silly dude in high school who, during his early hookups, argued that you have to give him a blow job otherwise he will get blue balls and die. Edging is similar to the concept of blue balls because you are getting the penis excited and then telling it to chill out before exciting it again.
Blue balls, known in fancier circles as epididymal hypertension, have been shown to have no adverse long-term effects
Blue balls, known in fancier circles as epididymal hypertension, have been shown to have no adverse long-term effects. If you edge and then go to work, the most dangerous outcome will be that you will be particularly distracted by your attractive coworker and don’t get much work done, but edging is perfectly safe.
Using a male masturbator for edging
Edging all day can hurt your wrists, so exploring edging with a male masturbator or penis vibrator can help ease your tired hands. It can also make the sensation feel closer to sex, so you can more easily prepare to engage in edging during penetration. Specifically, you can use a fleshlight, pocket pussy, or deep-throat, mouth masturbator, to explore edging in a situation that feels most similar to the one you envision exploring.
Final thoughts on edging
Edging can be a fun way to learn more about your body, gain confidence, and control your orgasm. Spend time exploring your body through edging to have more intense orgasms, and perhaps explore edging with a partner to increase communication, intimacy, and pleasure.
Like all exercises, it will take time to get adjusted and understand how your body reacts to this new method. Over the course of days, weeks, and months, you will notice a big change in how long you can last during sex and how much your performance has improved!