Prostate Play & Milking it for Pleasure
You’ve probably heard the prostate talked about most frequently in relation to prostate cancer. It’s the next most common cancer in men, after skin cancer, and the fourth most common cancer in the world today. But how much do you really know about this walnut-sized gland of pleasure? Could you locate your prostate? And did you know it could add a new dimension to your sex life with orgasmic prostate massages? Prostate play is a sexual activity for anybody looking for a good time and so happens to have a prostate. How do you use a prostate massager? This article offers you some answers, enlightenment, and (if you’re game for it) fulfillment…
What is the Prostate?
First up, it’s a guy thing—only people born as men have a prostate gland so prostate orgasms are not for everybody. Stop being greedy, you all have the G-spot! You’ll find the prostate or male g-spot between your bladder and your penis—and just a finger length inside your butt. About three inches in, to be precise. The prostate promotes fertility, ensures regular and controlled peeing and, if stimulated correctly, offers a source of sexual satisfaction that most men can only dream of.
Top reasons to get into prostate play
- Treats many forms of erectile dysfunction
- Improves erection strength and size
- Can help stop premature ejaculation
- Treatment for Prostatitis
- Can reduce fluid blockages and improve urine flow
- Prostate massage orgasms are the strongest orgasm a man can ever feel
- It is known as the "male g-spot"
- Help produce more semen
- Prostate masturbation is a proven method for improving overall sexual health and function
- Preparing for your first anal experience
In terms of sexual function, the prostate releases prostatic fluid (pre-cum) when you’re about to shoot your load (or when the gland is stimulated or massaged). Prostatic fluid is one of the components in semen. It protects, transports, and nourishes your sperm. If you’re trying to conceive, it’s what helps your sperm make its way to the egg and fertilize it. During ejaculation (or prostate stimulation) the prostate contracts, blocks the opening between your bladder and urethra, and squirts its fluid out of your cock. Incidentally, that’s why it’s impossible to pee and cum at the same time—just in case you ever wondered.
Your urethra runs through the center of your prostate, if your prostate is swollen for any reason, it can block the free flow of urine and cause an overactive bladder. Not pleasant. If you’re experiencing leakage after peeing, an urgent, regular urge to go to the restroom, or get a burning sensation when you’re taking a pee, then see a doctor straight away.
The prostate orgasm
Now for the fun part, massaging the prostate. The prostate orgasm is the holy grail of pleasure for men. The prostate happens to be the male equivalent of a woman’s G-Spot—for that reason some people refer to it as the P-Spot. Prostate stimulation, either by just massaging (also called prostate milking) or in combination with masturbation (prostate masturbation) or full-on sex—can give guys intense, longer-lasting, bone-shaking orgasms. Those in the know call them a ‘Super‐O.’
Prostate orgasms and prostate milking are generally much more intense than regular ones—some research suggests up to 400%. For men with Erectile Dysfunction (ED), it’s worth knowing that you don’t have to get hard to have a prostate orgasm, so it could be an alternative way to experience sexual pleasure.
There hasn’t been a lot of formal research, but it’s generally agreed amongst those who have tried prostate massaging, that it takes longer to achieve a Super-O than a regular one—so it might also be worth considering if you’re prone to premature ejaculation. It could be a handy way of prolonging love-making and sexual encounters—30 minutes seems to be about the average time it takes for prostate-induced orgasms, although it varies between men (as it does with regular orgasms).
Anal Penetration...the last male taboo?
So…Does this all sound too good to be true? Well, there is one thing to address. To achieve the most intense prostate orgasms, you have to massage and stimulate the p-spot from inside your ass—very specifically, a form of anal play. You can also stimulate your prostate externally (and we'll explain how further on in this article) but the results won’t be as intense.
Now, western cultural and religious values might make anal play a difficult proposition for some guys to contemplate—and you might not initially be comfortable asking your partner to pleasure you in this way. But, to be clear, this is not anal sex and it's not an activity that’s defined or limited by sexuality. If you're straight and attracted to women, a prostate massage won’t change that. In fact, you can enjoy a p-spot massage regardless of gender identity or sexual orientation.
Taking a more global, old-world view for a moment, tantric philosophy teaches that the prostate gland is the center of a guy’s emotional and sexual awareness—and in ancient India and China, prostate massaging was thought to promote and maintain peak sexual condition—and also enhance sexual prowess. In this context, you shouldn’t be surprised that almost every ancient ruler in both these countries—particularly if they had a harem—would receive a regular prostate orgasm to keep them in tiptop bedroom condition.
If you think massaging the prostate is something you’d enjoy, then you’re not alone. Since 2004, online searches for “prostate massager” have more than tripled in the United States, according to Google. More experienced guys will probably tell you that for prostate play they prefer massagers or anal plugs as fingers can be imprecise, too short, or generally a bit awkward.
You can choose from internal or external massagers in a range of shapes and sizes and with a variety of functions—some even have remote controls. Prostate massagers are similar to anal dildos, but they tend to be more curved, slimmer, and with a softer texture. Unlike dildos, prostate massagers have a flared end—for safety and comfort reasons.
Finding and massaging the prostate
If you decide you’re going to give prostate play a shot, the first thing to do is make sure you're clean. Sorry guys, there’s no easy way to say this, but you should check there are no remnants from the last time you sat down on the toilet. Try to leave it a few hours since your last bowel movement and consider using a washcloth and a finger in the shower before you start. You can also try a hygienic male enema or anal douche.
The great thing about our bodies is it does not matter if you are new to anal play and p-spot massaging or have experience, we all have the same need to be clean. As one of the most important aspects of anal penetration, the use of an anal enema to flush out all of the fecal matter and bacterial should be a priority. There are many different enemas on the market, some include multiple enema tips such as the Colt Anal Douche while others include just the single tip.
Obviously, this is important—and it’s polite—if you're getting your partner involved but even if it’s just you, you should still try to keep things as clean and hygienic as possible for your own benefit.
Now you're ready to get started: How to insert and use a prostate massager
So how do you massage the prostate?
If you are wondering how to stimulate the prostate then simply follow these steps below.
- Even if you're just experimenting in locating your prostate by yourself, we recommend you use a good quality lube—and trim your nails if you're using a finger. Both of these things will make things go much more smoothly for you. Silicone lube is the best as it’s extremely slow to be absorbed by the body so it stays slick for extended periods of time—just don’t use silicone lube with silicone sex toys (or any soft sex toys to be safe).
- Set aside at least half an hour—prostate play is not a quick jerk off in the shower. That said, adding a vibrating massager or even a manual one may make you get your rocks off faster or with more intensity than just using a finger. Look for massagers made of materials that aren’t toxic and can be easily cleaned and sanitized. The best anal massagers are made of silicone or glass.
- It's up to you whether you decide to go solo or get your partner involved. Some guys like to see if they enjoy the feeling themselves first, but there are no rules—it’s just what you are comfortable with.
- Lay down either on your side or your back—there are other positions you can try as you get more experienced. Start by inserting a finger or massager slowly and gently inside—probably about an inch or so. It's important to get comfortable and relaxed with the feeling as it may seem strange at first. But it’s worth persevering, we promise.
- Move the finger or massager further in—roughly about two inches and keep relaxed. Don’t be tempted to masturbate at this stage or you’ll risk losing focus on your prostate.
- Go deeper until you feel a little rough lump around three inches inside your ass and go up a little towards the base of your cock. If you've got a sex toy, you’ll see it's handily shaped that way for you.
- Whether you're using your finger or a sex toy, you don't want to apply too much pressure to your prostate—light to moderate pressure is absolutely enough. Don't apply any more pressure than you would if you were rubbing your eyelid. Massage it with a beckoning motion (come hither motion) or in gentle circular motions. You will want to continue with this come hither motion and pressure until you are ready to ejaculate.
- At this point, you will probably be hard as a rock. If you do feel you’d like to shoot your load in the time-honored way, then you’ll literally cum bucket loads and with more power and vigor that you’ve ever done before—and it will definitely be an impressive performance.
- But if you have been able to hold back, the feeling will intensify. You won’t ejaculate in the same way, in fact you may go flaccid. But you will still shoot a load of pre-cum and feel energy waves, shaking and blissfulness across your entire body.
- Tidying up: if you’ve been using a toy, make sure you wash it down thoroughly with warm water and an anti-bacterial sex toy cleaner. If you've been using your finger, wash your hands well.
External prostate stimulation
If you're not comfortable with the idea of putting anything up your butt then you can stimulate your prostate with an external massage, also known as a Perineum massage. The feeling won't be as intense as an p-spot massage, but it might be a good way to see what all the fuss is about and to explore some of your body's other erotic zones. Most great prostate massagers will also have a perineum massager as well, such as the Aneros Progasm Prostate Massager and Nexus Revo 2.
The key to a good external prostate massage is being able to locate your perineum—it’s the area of skin between your balls and your butt (you might have heard it referred to as the taint or gooch). Most of the prostate massagers you can buy will also be able to externally stimulate your perineum without any insertion.
Place a couple of fingertips or an external massager on the gooch, and rub in a circular motion or stroke through the skin. Start out lightly and then explore what kind of touching or rubbing works best for you. You could try this with lube too.
If you want to massage your perineum while you're hard, try placing your fingers on one side of the shaft under your balls. You’re looking for a lump that you may have always thought was part of your cock, but if you rub it in the way we’ve described, you'll start to feel a deep and powerful sensation that's very different from regular cock play—and, if you’ve experienced ED, it could give you the sensory boost you need to really get your rocks off.
Wider health benefits to prostate play
Many guys practice prostate stimulation because of wider health benefits—not just because of the pleasure it can offer. Here are a few of the most talked-about reasons:
Erectile dysfunction & premature ejaculation
Stimulating the prostate gland improves blood flow to the pelvic region and can strengthen pelvic floor muscles. This has been shown to help in some cases of ED and premature ejaculation. Even for guys without ED, prostate massaging may result in stronger and more powerful erections. In combination with erection-enhancing cock rings, many men are finding sexual rejuvenation in their relationships.
Perhaps that’s why for many centuries prostate play was the primary treatment for ED and why it is still used today by some guys in combination with other therapies. If you decide to combine prostate massaging with masturbation or other cock play, then you add an extra level of stimulation which may well help with ED. And we’re pretty sure you’ll also blow your full load with more intensity than you’ve ever done before.
Treatment for prostatitis and benign prostatic hyperplasia (BHP)
If you're suffering from urine-passing problems, painful ejaculation, and backache, you may have prostatitis or BHP. Medically reviewed, both conditions can cause issues including an urgent need to pee or, conversely, an inability to pee. They can also lead to pain around your dick, balls, and ass—and impact on sexual performance with painful ejaculations or pelvic pain following sex.
It's more likely that these conditions will affect older guys—usually over the age of 50, but they occur when you're younger too. Before antibiotics, prostate massaging was the main treatment for prostatitis—emptying the gland regularly clears out any infection, stops the buildup of prostatic fluid and returns the gland to its natural size. In some guys, this alleviates some or all the symptoms associated with prostatitis. Today, some men still use massage therapy in conjunction with antibiotics for both conditions .
Prostatitis will normally heal on its own or with a course of antibiotics—BHP is more serious, but also treatable. But the same symptoms for both conditions can also be early indicators of prostate cancer. So get a check-up if you notice any swelling or experience any of these issues over a few consecutive days.
Improved cancer protection
While we’re on the subject, achieving a Super‐O oxygenates the prostatic fluid and helps expel any biological, fungal and viral contaminants that have built up in your gland. When you get rid of these toxins, your body increases lymphocyte production, which is thought to assist the body in fighting off cancer.
Massagers for Solosexuals
An interesting find is that one of the largest growing user bases of anal sex toys is millennials and similar age groups. There is a growing culture of you people becoming "Solosexuals" meaning they prefer masturbation to sex with a partner. These individuals are more opt to use one of these devices for masturbation purposes.
Risks and a few cautionary words
There are a few risks relating to prostate massaging. These include causing damage to your rectal lining, causing internal bleeding and the potential for hemorrhoids (or piles) to flare up. But if you are careful and gentle—and don’t do it every day—these risks will be kept to a minimum.
It’s important to note that prostate massages can make acute prostatitis and BHP worse and lead to blood poisoning. It could also potentially spread prostate cancer around your body if you already have it, please consult a doctor before you massage your prostate, if you have prostate cancer. So if you suspect or know you have any of these conditions, you should speak to your doctor before you engage in prostate massaging.
Just like many other sexual activities, foreplay and engagement, prostate play isn’t going to be for everyone—but we hope this article has given you some insight, understanding and information to help you make an informed choice. If you have found the subject of anal play interesting, you might also consider some further reading, including The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure: Erotic Exploration for Men and Their Partners and could also take a look at some of the footnotes that accompany this article.