You’ve probably heard the prostate talked about most frequently in relation to prostate cancer. It’s next most common cancer in men next after skin cancer and the fourth most common cancer in the world today. But how much do you really know about this walnut-sized gland? Could you locate it? And did you know it could add a new dimension your sex life? This article offers you some answers, enlightenment and (if you’re game for it) fulfillment…
First up, it’s a guy thing—only men have a prostate gland. You’ll find it between your bladder and your penis—and just inside your ass. About three inches in, to be precise. The prostate promotes fertility, ensures regular and controlled peeing and, if stimulated correctly, offers a source of sexual satisfaction that most men can only dream of.
In terms of sexual function, the prostate releases prostatic fluid (pre-cum to you and me) when you’re about to shoot your load (or when the gland is stimulated or massaged—more on that later). Prostatic fluid is one of the components in semen. It protects, transports and nourishes your sperm. If you’re trying to conceive, it’s what helps your sperm make its way to the egg and fertilize it. During ejaculation (or massaging) the prostate contracts, blocks the opening between your bladder and urethra and squirts its fluid out of your cock. Incidentally, that’s why it’s impossible to pee and cum at the same time—just in case you ever wondered.
Your urethra runs through the center of your prostate gland so, if your prostate is swollen for any reason, it can block the free flow of urine and cause an overactive bladder. Not pleasant. If you’re experiencing leakage after peeing, an urgent, regular urge to go to the restroom or get a burning sensation when you’re taking a pee, then see a doctor straight away.
Now for the fun part, milking the prostate. The prostate also happens to be male equivalent of a woman’s G-Spot—for that reason some people refer to it as the P-Spot. Stimulating the prostate either by just massaging (also called prostate milking) or in combination with masturbation or full-on sex—can give guys intense, longer-lasting, bone-shaking orgasms. Those in the know call them a ‘Super‐O.’
Prostate orgasms are generally much more intense than regular ones—some research suggests up to 400% (although we’re not sure that there is an accurate way of measuring and recording that level of intensity, but you get the idea, right?!). For men with Erectile Dysfunction (ED), it’s worth knowing that you don’t have to get hard to have a Super-O, so it could be an alternative way to experience sexual pleasure.
There hasn’t been a lot of formal research, but it’s generally agreed amongst those who have tried prostate massaging, that it takes longer to achieve a Super-O than a regular one—so it might also be worth considering if you’re prone to premature ejaculation. It could be a handy way of prolonging love-making and sexual encounters—30 minutes seems to be about the average time it takes to get off and climax this way, although it varies between men (as it does with regular orgasms).
So…Does this all sound too good to be true? Well, there is one issue we have to address. To achieve the most intense prostate orgasms, you have to massage and stimulate the gland from inside your ass—very specifically, you’ll need to put either a finger or a massager up there. You can also stimulate your prostate externally (and we'll explain how further on in this article) but the results won’t be as intense.
Now, western cultural and religious values might make any sexual activity that involves your ass a difficult proposition for some guys to contemplate—and you might not initially be comfortable asking your partner to pleasure you in this way. But, to be clear, this is not anal intercourse and it's not an activity that’s defined or limited by sexuality. If you're straight and attracted to women, a prostate massage won’t change that. In fact, you can enjoy a prostate massage regardless of gender identity or sexual orientation.
Taking a more global, old-world view for a moment, tantric philosophy teaches that the prostate gland is the center of a guy’s emotional and sexual awareness—and in ancient India and China, prostate massaging was thought to promote and maintain peak sexual condition—and also enhance sexual prowess. In this context, you shouldn’t be surprised that almost every ancient ruler in both these countries—particularly if they had a harem—would receive a regular prostate massage to keep them in tiptop bedroom condition.
If you think a prostate massage is something you’d enjoy, then you’re not alone. Since 2004, online searches for “prostate massager” have more than tripled in the United States, according to Google. More experienced guys will probably tell you that the prefer massagers or anal plugs as fingers can be imprecise, too short or generally a bit awkward. You can choose from internal or external massagers in a range of shapes and sizes and with a variety functions—some even have remote controls. Prostate massagers are similar to dildos, but they tend to be more curved, slimmer and with a softer texture. Unlike dildos, prostate massagers have a flared end—for safety and comfort reasons.
If you decide you’re going to give it a go, the first thing to do is make sure you're clean. Sorry guys, there’s no easy way to say this, but you should check there are no remnants from the last time you sat down on the toilet. Try to leave it a few hours since your last bowel movement and consider using a washcloth and a finger in the shower before you start. You can also try a hygienic enema or anal douche.
Obviously, this is important—and it’s polite—if you're getting your partner involved but even if it’s just you, you should still try to keep things as clean and hygienic as possible for your own benefit.
Follow the steps below.
If you're not comfortable with the idea of putting anything up your butt then you can stimulate your prostate with an external massage, also known as a Perineum massage. The feeling won't be as intense as an internal massage, but it might be a good way to see what all the fuss is about and to explore some of your body's other erotic zones. Most great prostate massagers will also have a perineum massager as well, such as Aneros and Nexus.
The key to a good external prostate massage is being able to locate your perineum—it’s the area of skin between your balls and your butt (you might have heard it referred to as the taint or gooch). Most of the prostate massagers you can buy will also be able to externally stimulate your perineum without any insertion.
Place a couple of fingertips or an external massager on the perineum, and rub in a circular motion or stroke through the skin. Start out lightly and then explore what kind of touching or rubbing works best for you. You could try this with a lube too.
If you want to massage your perineum while you're hard, try placing your fingers on one side of the shaft under your balls. You’re looking for a lump that you may have always thought was part of your cock, but if you rub it in the way we’ve described, you'll start to feel a deep and powerful sensation that's very different from regular cock play—and, if you’ve experienced ED, it could give you the sensory boost you need to really get your rocks off.
Many guys practice prostate massaging because of wider health benefits—not just because of the pleasure it can offer. Here are a few of the most talked about reasons:
Stimulating the prostate gland improves blood flow to the pelvic region and can strengthen pelvic floor muscles. This has been shown to help in some cases of ED and premature ejaculation. Even for guys without ED, prostate massaging may result in stronger and more powerful erections.
Perhaps that’s why, for many centuries prostate massaging was the primary treatment for ED and why it is still used today by some guys in combination with other therapies. If you decide to combine prostate massaging with masturbation or other cock play, then you add an extra level of stimulation which may well help with ED. And we’re pretty sure you’ll also blow your full load with more intensity than you’ve ever done before.
If you're suffering with urine-passing problems, painful ejaculation and back ache, you may have prostatitis or BHP. Both conditions can cause issues including an urgent need to pee or, conversely, an inability to pee. They can also lead to pain around your dick, balls and ass—and impact on sexual performance with painful ejaculations or pelvic pain following sex.
It's more likely that these conditions will affect older guys—usually over the age of 50, but they occur when you're younger too. Before antibiotics, prostate massaging was the main treatment for prostatitis—emptying the gland regularly clears out any infection, stops the buildup of prostatic fluid and returns the gland to its natural size. In some guys this alleviates some or all the symptoms associated with prostatitis. Today, some men still use massage therapy in conjunction with antibiotics for both conditions  .
Prostatitis will normally heal on its own or with a course of antibiotics—BHP is more serious, but also treatable. But the same symptoms for both conditions can also be early indicators of prostate cancer. So get a check-up if you notice any swelling or experience any of these issues over a few consecutive days.
While we’re on the subject, achieving a Super‐O oxygenates the prostatic fluid and helps expel any biological, fungal and viral contaminants that have built up in your gland. When you get rid of these toxins, your body increases lymphocyte production, which is thought to assist the body in fighting off cancer.
There are a few risks relating to prostate massaging. These include causing damage to your rectal lining, causing internal bleeding and the potential for hemorrhoids (or piles) to flare up. But if you are careful and gentle—and don’t do it every day—these risks will be kept to a minimum.
It’s important to note that prostate massages can make acute prostatitis and BHP worse and lead to blood poisoning. It could also potentially spread prostate cancer around your body if you already have it, please consult a doctor before you massage your prostate, if you have prostate cancer. So if you suspect or know you have any of these conditions, you should speak to your doctor before you engage in prostate massaging.
There is no real or significant risk of contracting any form of STD—including HIV/AIDS—from a prostate massage. The only possible, and extremely unlikely, ways this could happen is if your partner has open wounds on their finger before massaging you and is already carrying an STD, or if you use an infected person’s prostate massager straight after them without sterilizing it. In short, basic hygiene and common sense should negate any STD-related risks.
Just like many other sexual activities, foreplay and engagement, prostate massage isn’t going to be for everyone—but we hope this article has given you some insight, understanding and information to help you make an informed choice. If you have found the subject interesting, you might also consider some further reading, including The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure: Erotic Exploration for Men and Their Partnersand could also take a look at some of the footnotes that accompany this article.