Men, sexual gratification, and their butts. This isn’t a topic that comes up in conversation very often or very comfortably. Yet plenty of guys—whether they’re straight, gay, pan or bi—regularly enjoy some form of anal stimulation as part of sex or foreplay. For example, in one study we looked at, almost a quarter straight guys have had a finger up their ass during sex, and 15% had been rimmed[i] by their partner[ii].
Despite this, the topic of anal play for guys remains pretty much off-limits, which is a real shame. There are loads of nerve endings around the edge of your butt—and inside it too—so stimulating it can feel wonderful. You might not realize it, but the muscles inside your ass also respond well to a gentle, direct touch. This kind of stimulation can make your cock super-hard (just like when you use a penis pump), improve the quality of your erection, and get you ready to shoot your load. Indeed, it’s possible to cum in these circumstances without even touching your dick.
Then there’s the prostate. A small walnut-sized gland located about one inch inside your butt. It’s easy to find with a finger or a toy, such as a prostate massager. Touching it in the right way will give you the kind of multiple, whole-body, bone-shaking orgasms you've only dreamed of—often called a super-o. That’s probably why the prostate is referred to as the male g-spot or p-spot.
If it's that good, then why aren’t more men trying anal play? Most likely, it’s because they think any kind of anal sexual stimulation might make them gay or challenge their masculinity. You can blame generations of people who have made anal into a stigma or a taboo that straight men don’t do that. it’s just not true; your sexuality is determined by the gender of people you are attracted to, not the acts you do together. If you’re a straight guy and you want your partner to put a finger or two up your ass, your sexuality hasn’t changed. You’re just a straight guy, having straight sex that just happens to involve a bit of anal play. Quite frankly, if you are a straight guy who has not tried any backdoor play or stretching, you are missing out on some of life’s greatest pleasure! Seriously…
But let’s park that idea for a moment. This is the 21st century, after all. It doesn’t actually matter if you’re gay, straight, pan, trans or bi. As long as your encounters are consensual and legal, then you should be free to explore your body and your partner’s in whatever ways you want. And that includes any kind of anal fun too. So, in that spirit, this article sets out to help guys—regardless of their sexuality—enjoy safe anal stimulation. Specifically, anal stretching and anal training with huge butt plugs and other large anal toys.
Whether alone or with a partner, plenty of men enjoy anal stretching and training literally to get in shape for the best possible prostate stimulation. This is particularly true when guys contemplate using aprostate massager for the first time. Worry and self-doubt can get in the way and spoil the experience if it’s one you’re not used to.
Anal training enables you to effortlessly reach the gland without any of those feelings of stress, tension, or anxiety. In turn, this relaxed state dramatically increases the possibility of having a super-o (or even two or three during the same session). Stretching and training also gets you prepped for pegging if you've ever fancied trying that. It gives you the confidence and composure to take that strap-on right up inside and enjoy the penetration role reversal to its full.
Other men get turned on by the actual expansion and contraction of their sphincter muscles. This might mean enjoying the perfect fit and familiarity of a few favorite toys. Or it could mean a continuing quest to feel the thrill of stretching the sphincter muscle a little bit further outside its comfort zone. Not so much that it’s painful, of course, just enough to send a pleasant shiver down your back, through your body and make your dick even harder.
If that’s something you’re interested in trying, then it makes sense to find a few toys that let you progress slowly and safely. Butt plugs with atapered design or a series of increasinglylarge bumps or bubbles allow you to expand the stretch at your own pace. You can slide the toy over each larger section without having to remove it and start over. This can be preferable to completely removing a toy and starting again with a fresh one—but that choice is really down to you.
Other options to consider include butt plugs that come in packs of two or three—often called anal training kits or trainer sets. It’s also worth giving some thought to the growing number of anal kits available too. They're a little like an anal trainer kit with a few different kinds of toys to try out. They give you the chance to see which shapes you like best or an opportunity to stretch out in different directions and through different regions. Whichever you pick, you’ll start to create the opportunity to indulge in some wild fantasies. A world of possibilities are on the table as you get accustomed to huge plugs and other shapes that stretch out your width, depth, or both at the same time.
Anal beads work in a similar way. Each chain of beads has varying sizes to let you steadily increase the stretch—with beads getting more substantial in size as you push deeper inside your ass. Remember that, with beads, in particular, you don’t just get hard when they’re going in, but as you’re pulling them out too. Some guys like to have this done slowly and build up the pleasure, while others like them pulled out in one go, perfectly timed with their orgasm to give them maximum fun and enjoyment. Once you've mastered some of the beginner's beads, you can graduate to larger oradvanced collections that keep stretching you further. Beads don’t just stretch your sphincter, they can also give your prostate a little nudge along the way, so they offer multiple avenues of pleasure.
Whether you’re a beginner or an experienced stretcher, you needlube. And lots of it. Your ass doesn’t self-lubricate like a vagina, so you need to give it a little help to keep things moving smoothly. Remember that you may need to reapply lube several times—so don’t be afraid to take a break. If you’re more experienced and enjoy deeper penetration, you might consider a lube shooter or injector. They’re a clean, quick, and efficient way to get lube further inside and keep you comfortable.
Depending on if you are using anal toys or not and what material the toys are will dictate which lubricant you can go with. If no toys are being used, then you can have your pick of water-based lube or silicone lubricant. Just remember, if you add anal toys, especially when stretching, you can’t use silicone lube with silicone toys so make sure to have a great water-based anal lube on hand!
You may read in some places thatnumbing lube is a good option or even a bad option, but use this with caution. A mild desensitizing lube can be helpful—particularly if you’re new to stretching, training, or even anal play... or if you've just stepped up the size of your toys. However, anal play shouldn't be painful if you do it right—and much of the point of stretching is to feel the expansion and the touch of the toys inside you.
Moreover, pain can be your body's way of telling you to pull back. Often, it's letting you know that you may be about to cause damage. For that reason, opinion is divided on the use of numbing lube in this situation. Try it and see if it works for you but be aware of the risks as well as the benefits. We’d always recommend selecting a product with alow level of active numbing ingredients. Remember that not all lubes are compatible with condoms or silicone toys, so check the label and instructions on your lube, condoms, and toys first.
We’ve talked about lube, but there are a few other bits of equipment you should have to hand. Now, just a quick trigger warning. We have to talk about poop—just for a moment or two. If you're going to try anal play, you have to give this some consideration, even though none of us really want to think about it.
Anal isn’t scat—at least, generally speaking. So you want to be clean down there, whether you’re alone or with your partner. Some guys, with more experience, plan ahead by limiting what they eat for a day in advance. They skip certain foods (red meat, sugary or fatty foods) and eat more of others (such as fiber-rich foods). They also try to naturally clear their bowels at least a couple of hours beforehand. But not all of us are that organized—in which case you might consider buying an anal enema or anal douche, which will let you quickly prepare. This is the route that most porn stars take, and if you opt for that, you’ll be in good company.
So, that's the prep taken care of. You also need to think about tidying up afterward. Make sure you clean all your toys. Soap and water are OK, but we’d always opt for ananti-bacterial sex toy cleaner if there's a choice. Most guys also take a shower and clean their ass straight after anal play too. Don't forget that, if you're sharing the toys with your partner during the same session, it’s extremely wise to clean them after they’ve been up your butt. No matter how well you know someone, there are some things—like the bacteria that live inside your butt—that you really don't want to share.
You might also like to think about putting a towel or plastic cover on your bed (or the surface you have sex on), having some unscented baby wipes to hand for a quick tidy up. Mattress protectors are also worth considering if you’re worried about sweat or other fluids seeping through or staining your bedding.
Now that we’ve covered the basics, it’s time to talk specifics.
With stretching and training, the whole point is that you’re going slightly further than last time. As such, you really need anything from 30 minutes to a couple of hours for a single session. As well as setting aside plenty of time for each session, you also need to allow lots of time over several weeks and months to achieve the results you want.
These muscles don't stretch fast, so you need to work slowly, regularly, and patiently. For example, don’t try to accept an entire toy during your first session with it. You’re not supposed to be able to! Remember, it’s a slow progression, not a quick hit.
Although this article has talked exclusively about anal stretching and training, it doesn’t have to be done on its own. Anal training and stretching can easily be incorporated as part of foreplay or after play—or be the main event—whatever you like best. Just like oral or any other activity. In fact, as a beginner, thinking of anal stretching and training in isolation can put up more unnecessary barriers and make it harder to try it for the first time.
It’s also worth remembering that stretching isn’t permanent in most cases—your body will begin reverse and settle back if you don’t do it regularly. Just like any other muscle in your body, you lose if you don’t keep training. That’s a plus or a minus, depending on your point of view. But as a novice, it does provide a safety net and confidence. And as a more experienced guy, it demonstrates the need to be constant and to play the long-game.