Anal Training 101 | The Ultimate Guide to Anal Stretching
Men, sexual gratification, and their butts. This isn’t a topic that comes up in conversation very often or very comfortably. Yet plenty of guys—whether they’re straight, gay, pan or bi—regularly enjoy some form of anal stimulation as part of sex or foreplay. For example, in one study we looked at, almost a quarter straight guys have had a finger up their ass during sex, and 15% had been rimmed[i] by their partner[ii].
Despite this, the topic of anal play for guys remains pretty much off-limits, which is a real shame. There are loads of nerve endings around the edge of your butt—and inside it too—so stimulating it can feel wonderful. You might not realize it, but the muscles inside your ass also respond well to a gentle, direct touch. This kind of stimulation can make your cock super-hard (just like when you use a penis pump), improve the quality of your erection, and get you ready to shoot your load. Indeed, it’s possible to cum in these circumstances without even touching your dick.
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Then there’s the prostate. A small walnut-sized gland located about one inch inside your butt. It’s easy to find with a finger or a toy, such as a prostate massager. Touching it in the right way will give you the kind of multiple, whole-body, bone-shaking orgasms you've only dreamed of—often called a super-o. That’s probably why the prostate is referred to as the male g-spot or p-spot.
Anal sex isn’t about sexuality
If it's that good, then why aren’t more men trying anal play? Most likely, it’s because they think any kind of anal sexual stimulation might make them gay or challenge their masculinity. You can blame generations of people who have made anal into a stigma or a taboo that straight men don’t do that. it’s just not true; your sexuality is determined by the gender of people you are attracted to, not the acts you do together. If you’re a straight guy and you want your partner to put a finger or two up your ass, your sexuality hasn’t changed. You’re just a straight guy, having straight sex that just happens to involve a bit of anal play. Quite frankly, if you are a straight guy who has not tried any backdoor play or stretching, you are missing out on some of life’s greatest pleasure! Seriously…
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But let’s park that idea for a moment. This is the 21st century, after all. It doesn’t actually matter if you’re gay, straight, pan, trans or bi. As long as your encounters are consensual and legal, then you should be free to explore your body and your partner’s in whatever ways you want. And that includes any kind of butt plug training and other types anal fun too. So, in that spirit, this article sets out to help guys—regardless of their sexuality—enjoy safe anal stimulation. Specifically, anal stretching and butt plug training with huge butt plugs and other large anal toys.
Why do guys try anal stretching and training?
Whether alone or with a partner, plenty of men enjoy anal stretching and training literally to get in shape for the best possible prostate stimulation. This is particularly true when guys contemplate using a prostate massager for the first time. Worry and self-doubt can get in the way and spoil the experience if it’s one you’re not used to.
Anal training enables you to effortlessly reach the gland without any of those feelings of stress, tension, or anxiety. In turn, this relaxed state dramatically increases the possibility of having a super-o (or even two or three during the same session). Stretching and training also gets you prepped for pegging if you've ever fancied trying that. It gives you the confidence and composure to take that strap-on right up inside and enjoy the penetration role reversal to its full.
Other men get turned on by the actual expansion and contraction of their sphincter muscles. This might mean enjoying the perfect fit and familiarity of a few favorite toys. Or it could mean a continuing quest to feel the thrill of stretching the sphincter muscle a little bit further outside its comfort zone. Not so much that it’s painful, of course, just enough to send a pleasant shiver down your back, through your body and make your dick even harder.
Building up the stretch with butt plugs and anal beads
If that’s something you’re interested in trying, then it makes sense to find a few toys that let you progress slowly and safely. Butt plugs with a tapered design or a series of increasingly large bumps or bubbles allow you to expand the stretch at your own pace. You can slide the toy over each larger section without having to remove it and start over. This can be preferable to completely removing a toy and starting again with a fresh one—but that choice is really down to you.
Other options to consider include butt plugs that come in packs of two or three—often called anal training kits or trainer sets. It’s also worth giving some thought to the growing number of anal kits available too. They're a little like an anal trainer kit with a few different kinds of toys to try out. They give you the chance to see which shapes you like best or an opportunity to stretch out in different directions and through different regions. Whichever you pick, you’ll start to create the opportunity to indulge in some wild fantasies. A world of possibilities are on the table as you get accustomed to huge plugs and other shapes that stretch out your width, depth, or both at the same time.
Anal beads work in a similar way. Each chain of beads has varying sizes to let you steadily increase the stretch—with beads getting more substantial in size as you push deeper inside your ass. Remember that, with beads, in particular, you don’t just get hard when they’re going in, but as you’re pulling them out too. Some guys like to have this done slowly and build up the pleasure, while others like them pulled out in one go, perfectly timed with their orgasm to give them maximum fun and enjoyment. Once you've mastered some of the beginner's beads, you can graduate to larger or advanced collections that keep stretching you further. Beads don’t just stretch your sphincter, they can also give your prostate a little nudge along the way, so they offer multiple avenues of pleasure.
A good lube is essential
Whether you’re a beginner or an experienced stretcher, you need lube. And lots of it. Your ass doesn’t self-lubricate like a vagina, so you need to give it a little help to keep things moving smoothly. Remember that you may need to reapply lube several times—so don’t be afraid to take a break. If you’re more experienced and enjoy deeper penetration, you might consider a lube shooter or injector. They’re a clean, quick, and efficient way to get lube further inside and keep you comfortable.
Depending on if you are using anal toys or not and what material the toys are will dictate which lubricant you can go with. If no toys are being used, then you can have your pick of water-based lube or silicone lubricant. Just remember, if you add anal toys, especially when stretching, you can’t use silicone lube with silicone toys so make sure to have a great water-based anal lube on hand!
You may read in some places that numbing lube is a good option or even a bad option, but use this with caution. A mild desensitizing lube can be helpful—particularly if you’re new to stretching, training, or even anal play... or if you've just stepped up the size of your toys. However, anal play shouldn't be painful if you do it right—and much of the point of stretching is to feel the expansion and the touch of the toys inside you.
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Moreover, pain can be your body's way of telling you to pull back. Often, it's letting you know that you may be about to cause damage. For that reason, opinion is divided on the use of numbing lube in this situation. Try it and see if it works for you but be aware of the risks as well as the benefits. We’d always recommend selecting a product with a low level of active numbing ingredients. Remember that not all lubes are compatible with condoms or silicone toys, so check the label and instructions on your lube, condoms, and toys first.
Other important anal stretching information
We’ve talked about lube, but there are a few other bits of equipment you should have to hand. Now, just a quick trigger warning. We have to talk about poop—just for a moment or two. If you're going to try anal play, you have to give this some consideration, even though none of us really want to think about it.
Anal isn’t scat—at least, generally speaking. So you want to be clean down there, whether you’re alone or with your partner. Some guys, with more experience, plan ahead by limiting what they eat for a day in advance. They skip certain foods (red meat, sugary or fatty foods) and eat more of others (such as fiber-rich foods). They also try to naturally clear their bowels at least a couple of hours beforehand. But not all of us are that organized—in which case you might consider buying an anal enema or anal douche, which will let you quickly prepare. This is the route that most porn stars take, and if you opt for that, you’ll be in good company.
The great thing about our bodies is it does not matter if you are a new anal explorer or an advanced and experienced user, we all have the same need to be clean. As one of the most important aspects of anal training or anal stretching, the use of an anal enema to flush out all of the fecal matter and bacterial should be a priority. There are many different enemas on the market, some include multiple enema tips such as the Colt Anal Douche while others include just the single tip.
So, that's the prep taken care of. You also need to think about tidying up afterward. Make sure you clean all your toys. Soap and water are OK, but we’d always opt for an anti-bacterial sex toy cleaner if there's a choice. Most guys also take a shower and clean their ass straight after anal play too. Don't forget that, if you're sharing the toys with your partner during the same session, it’s extremely wise to clean them after they’ve been up your butt. No matter how well you know someone, there are some things—like the bacteria that live inside your butt—that you really don't want to share.
You might also like to think about putting a towel or plastic cover on your bed (or the surface you have sex on), having some unscented baby wipes to hand for a quick tidy up. Mattress protectors are also worth considering if you’re worried about sweat or other fluids seeping through or staining your bedding.
Now that we’ve covered the basics, it’s time to talk specifics.
10 Anal Stretching Tips
- Pick toys made from body-safe materials. Medical grade silicone or PVC is flexible and bendable, which is excellent either for beginners or for pros that want to keep pushing their boundaries in small, safe stages. These materials are body safe and non-porous so they cant be permeated which reduces the chances of bacteria growth. You also must think about how hard the toy is, if using toys made from such materials as glass, wood, or plastic, there will be no give to the material which means your body is taking the full force. Toys made from other materials are available too that have less give and present even experts with a supreme, but ultimately satisfying, challenge.
- Take a moment to work out what size toys are best for you. If you're starting out and haven’t bought a toy yet, get comfortable with a finger or two. Measure their length and width, then look for a toy that, at it’s widest point, is around a quarter to half an inch larger than your current comfortable size. This will allow you to progress at a safe and relaxed pace. Even as you progress, you should purchase new toys with the same incremental increases. Don’t lose sight of the fact that this is a long-term, slow-burn indulgence! Anal stretching is all about patience!
- Your sphincter muscles can actually help you stretch out. Before you insert any fingers or toys, push out gently with your sphincter, allowing it to expand and relax. It’s a little like the movement you’d make if you were sitting on the toilet. Insert the toy or your finger and, as your sphincter contracts, it will pull the toy or your finger in and get you started naturally.
- If you’re using beads or bubbled plug, keep each section in place for a few minutes. The longer you can leave it, the better your muscles will adapt and stretch. You'll also see better longer-term results and experience heightened enjoyment during each subsequent penetration.
- Allow yourself plenty of time for each session. Stretching and training isn’t like having a quick jerk-off in the shower. You can’t rush it, and you need to take your time. It’s not like penetrative anal sex either. Your anal dildo, vibrator, or your partner’s cock isn't likely to change radically in size between sessions. So you know what you're going to get, and you're most likely used to it. As such, you can go full-throttle and full speed when the mood takes you. It goes without saying that this approach is absolutely not recommended at all for stretching and training. You’ll do yourself some severe damage.
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With stretching and training, the whole point is that you’re going slightly further than last time. As such, you really need anything from 30 minutes to a couple of hours for a single session. As well as setting aside plenty of time for each session, you also need to allow lots of time over several weeks and months to achieve the results you want.
These muscles don't stretch fast, so you need to work slowly, regularly, and patiently. For example, don’t try to accept an entire toy during your first session with it. You’re not supposed to be able to! Remember, it’s a slow progression, not a quick hit.
- Stretching and training isn't about thrusting. If you're trying to replicate penile penetration, make sure you use a dildo or vibrator as they're designed specifically for that kind of anal play. Don't confuse the two things; they’re very different activities. Indeed, a little subtle movement or a discreet wiggle of your stretching and training toy can go a long way, and release waves of pleasure.
- Although you're stretching and training your ass, you're also training your mind and stretching its boundaries too. Being able to relax and trust your toys, yourself, or your partner at the threshold of pleasure and pain will ultimately open the doors to mind-bending sex, a super-hard dick and hyper-intense orgasms. You need a high level of trust and surrender to engage in stretching and training with your partner, in particular. As such, some couples often use the activity as part of their sexual power play games or in domination and submission scenarios.
- Pick toys that have a broad flared base or an extraction ring. You want to be able to safely remove anything you put up your butt. The absolute last thing you want is to get any object lost inside your ass. You might think this advice is just for beginners. But, it’s important at every stage of your stretching and training experience. According to the National Electronic Injury Surveillance System, the largest group of sex injuries involve foreign objects that have got ‘lost inside' in the heat of passion[iii]. Doctors and healthcare professionals won’t judge you if the worst does happen. Remember that they are there to help you, but you really don’t want to be that guy in the ER room, do you?
- You may sometimes feel as though you need to go to the toilet for a bowel movement while you’re stretching. Most of the time, this reflex feeling will pass—it’s likely to happen because your touching new nerves or putting pressure on muscles you don’t often use. While it's unlikely that you’ll accidentally poop, you might pass some gas. Sorry guys, but it's a fact, and you might as well be forewarned. If you've cleaned yourself and prepared in the way we mentioned earlier, you’ll be absolutely fine, and you have nothing to worry about. You’ll most likely have to visit the bathroom once you’re finished stretching out and your muscles start to retract. But that's perfectly normal.
- Watch out for danger signs of over-stretching. This is a fine line to tread at any point during your stretching and training journey. Maybe it will help to think of it in terms of other physical activity—perhaps weightlifting. You don't go into the gym for the first time and try to bench press 100kg. Well, you might, but you'd be leaving in an ambulance. The same goes for stretching; you need to start small and increase slowly with small, almost subtle increments. That way, you're getting the stretch you want while minimizing the risk of over-extension and injury. Signs to watch for include sudden sharp pain or long-lasting soreness (more than 48 hours later). If you experience either of these symptoms, make sure you visit a doctor straight away.
Although this article has talked exclusively about anal stretching and training, it doesn’t have to be done on its own. Anal training and stretching can easily be incorporated as part of foreplay or after play—or be the main event—whatever you like best. Just like oral or any other activity. In fact, as a beginner, thinking of anal stretching and training in isolation can put up more unnecessary barriers and make it harder to try it for the first time.
It’s also worth remembering that stretching isn’t permanent in most cases—your body will begin reverse and settle back if you don’t do it regularly. Just like any other muscle in your body, you lose if you don’t keep training. That’s a plus or a minus, depending on your point of view. But as a novice, it does provide a safety net and confidence. And as a more experienced guy, it demonstrates the need to be constant and to play the long-game.
[i] Everything you need to know about rimming (analingus)
[ii] Heterosexual anal play: increasingly popular
[iii] You can't put that in there! A look at sex-injury data