Prostate massagers are sex toys designed specifically to stimulate the sensitive nerve endings of the prostate gland. With pressure on the perineum or careful insertion through the anus, the best prostate massagers can help you achieve more powerful and longer-lasting orgasms.
Here, we'll look at prostate massagers and prostate stimulation in more detail, including:
- Reasons people try prostate play
- How to use prostate toys
- The different types of prostate massagers
- Some risks and safety considerations to think about
We'll also answer some frequently asked questions about prostate pleasure and practical ways to make prostate massagers work for you and your sex life.
Why should you try a prostate massager?
You should try a prostate massager if you're interested in increasing your pleasure potential - i.e. making your orgasms more varied and intense. To understand why, it's useful to know what the prostate does.
The prostate is a walnut-sized gland that plays an important role in the reproductive system. Connected to the penis and testicles, the prostate produces the fluid that helps sperm to survive and travel after ejaculation (orgasm).
Just before ejaculation, the prostate starts to contract, getting ready to push this fluid out of the penis. These contractions are part of what causes the "point of no return" sensations that happen just before you orgasm.
When prostate massage is combined with sex, oral sex, or other stimulation of the penis, people report extremely intense orgasms, multiple orgasms, and orgasms that can be felt throughout the body.
Since these sensations are so closely tied to the feeling of an orgasm, a prostate stimulator or vibrating prostate massager can help to bring these intense feelings of pleasure on without stimulating the penis.
When prostate massage is combined with sex, oral sex, or other stimulation of the penis, people report extremely intense orgasms, multiple orgasms, and orgasms that can be felt throughout the body.
Who is prostate massager for?
Lots of people consider anal play and anal penetration as only being a part of gay sexual relationships - but this is not the case. Prostate massage is extremely popular with both straight and gay men.
Prostate stimulation or milking started as a medical practice, where massages were used to treat 'prostatitis' - an inflammation of the gland. Some doctors suggested that men massaged their prostate at home, leading to the invention of medically-orientated massagers.
As prostate massage became more common, people began to realise it could lead to intense sexual pleasure, and more people introduced it into masturbation and sex.
So, although the idea of 'butt stuff' is something many people associate with gay relationships, massaging the prostate for pleasure actually rose to popularity with straight cis men. Today, straight men are often the target audience sex toy manufacturers are aiming for when they release a new prostate massager.
Pros vs Cons of Prostate Massaging
Prostate massaging is not with out certain risks. When considering getting into prostate massaging you should weigh the pros vs cons to see if it is right for you. Below we have created a table outlining the most common pros and cons.
Wonder if prostate massaging is for you?
How to properly use a prostate massager (step-by-step)
If you're new to prostate play, the idea of using a prostate massager can feel a little intimidating - but it shouldn't. A clean massager, plenty of lubricant, and a slow approach will help you get a feel for what you enjoy. While it may seem straight forward, its important that you know how to use a prostate massager.
These 6 steps will help to make sure using a massager is comfortable and fulfilling:
- Before you insert a toy or finger, make sure you have washed and dried your massager. This will help to ensure there is no bacteria present.
- Apply a water-based lubricant to your massager and your anal opening. You'll get a feel for the right amount of lube to use - but to start with, too much is better than too little.
- Try to relax your rectal muscles as much as possible.
- Slowly insert your massager into your rectum, applying gentle pressure to guide it into place. If your massager had a curved head, this will normally point towards the front of your body.
- If you're using a vibrating prostate massager, switch it on and use a gentle vibration setting as you get used to the feeling. If you are using a manual massager, move it in small slow circles against your prostate.
- The sensation may feel strange at first, but as long as you are not uncomfortable, continue massaging and changing the internal stimulation technique until you find the right level of pressure and movement for you.
Don't worry if you feel a strong urge to urinate or develop a strong erection - this is completely normal. You may also find that you release a little prostatic fluid through your penis as you massage - again, this is completely normal.
When you feel ready to stop, thoroughly wash and dry your massager, your hands, and around your rectum. This helps to avoid any bacteria lingering and potentially causing infection.
Tips to get the most out of your prostate massager
Try to relax as much as possible. You might be apprehensive about anal stimulation, but the more tense you are, the more likely it is to be uncomfortable.
Go slow at first
Start with gentle vibration patterns or movements. The prostate is sensitive, so it could feel uncomfortable if you start with intense movements or vigorous vibrations.
Try perineum stimulation
If you find anal play uncomfortable, you can stimulate your prostate by putting some gentle pressure on your perineum with your massager. Again, start slowly and gently - and work your way up to more intense stimulation.
What Type of Lube Should I Apply to My Prostate Massager?
Here are the lube types that work best with different prostate massage toys:
Silicone-based lube is often thicker and longer-lasting, so it’s a great choice for metal or glass toys. For toys made from silicone or rubber, use a water-based lube.
|What Type of Lube Should You Use?|
|Massager Material||Ideal Lube|
|Metal or Glass||Any variety of lube|
Are anal massagers good for prostate health?
The use of prostate massage to support prostate health is anecdotally supported. This means that while medical professionals and individuals suggest it has benefits, there are only a few academic studies showing benefits.
This doesn't mean prostate massagers can't benefit your health though - just that only initial, small case studies have been carried out so far.
It is thought that prostate stimulation can help to clear the prostatic duct. This 'duct' is a pipeline that runs between your prostate and the network of pipes through your urinary and reproductive organs. When your prostate is massaged, any release of prostatic fluid is thought to clear this duct. This may help with the following conditions:
Clearing of the prostate ducts may help to clear minor infections known as 'prostatitis'.
Erectile dysfunction (ED)
Prostate stimulation may help with arousal, especially if used with other ED treatments.
Blockages in the reproductive system may make ejaculation painful. Massage may help to gently ease these pains and clear blockages.
Your prostate surrounds your urethra, so swelling of the gland may constrain the flow of urine. Massage may reduce this swelling and make your urine flow more freely.
Talk to your doctor before massaging your prostate to help with medical issues
It's important to remember that the use of a prostate massager shouldn't be a replacement for professional medical attention. If you're experiencing any of these symptoms or issues, talk to your doctor first, and ask their opinion on prostate massage before you begin.
How to choose your first prostate massager
There are several things to consider when you purchase your first prostate massager - including; the size of the toy, the handle type, vibrating options, and whether you'd like to add a perineum stimulator. It's also useful to read reviews to get other people's opinions of a toy before you commit.
Let's look at each of those factors in more detail:
When you're starting out with prostate stimulation, it's understandable that the size of the prostate massager you choose will be a factor. Lots of people decide to start with something slim - often with a curve at the head so you can find your prostate easily.
In time, you may decide to work up to something wider - but starting with a toy that's less than an inch in diameter at first will help you get used to the sensations slowly.
Everyone's body is different, and we all have different physical limitations. With this in mind, it's wise to choose a massager with a handle you can easily reach and hold comfortably. Controlling your play will be important as you discover what feels good; the handle might be more important than you first think. It is important to choose a handle that flares out to prevent it from completely migrating internally. The last thing you want to worry about when exploring your prostate is unintentionally losing your toy inside your rectum.
A vibrating prostate massager can add some exciting sensations to your play - but some people find vibration too much when they're starting out. If you feel like vibrations might be right for you, start with a toy that offers different speeds and patterns, so you can adjust the intensity as you discover what works for you.
Part of the reason the perineum is such a sensitive patch is down to how close it is to the prostate. As such, lots of massagers have an external tab that's designed to sit against the perineum and offer this kind of stimulation. Pressure on the perineum isn't for everyone though, so practice applying pressure before you decide on a massager to see if this is a feature that will work for you.
Prostate massagers vs vibrators
Although similar at a glance, prostate massagers and vibrators are different sex toys designed for different sensations and types of play. Don't be tempted to start your search for prostate pleasure with a vibrator - dedicated massagers will provide a much better experience.
Prostate play is more focused on stimulation of the prostate itself, rather than the feeling of being penetrated, so massagers are usually slimmer.
Vibrators that are designed for vaginal use are often thicker than a prostate massager to help recreate the feeling of penetration. Prostate play is more focused on stimulation of the prostate itself, rather than the feeling of being penetrated, so massagers are usually slimmer. A slimmer toy will be much easier to insert and will usually feel much more comfortable as you start out.
The shape of a prostate massager is specifically designed to help you reach the 'P-spot' easily - the slightly curved head is designed entirely with the prostate in mind. On the other hand, a vibrator rarely has a tip that's curved at this precise angle - so it will require more pressure and guiding to help it find the right spot.
Want to know more about your perineum?
We have a guide just for you!
Types of prostate massagers
There are several types of prostate massagers available, including; vibrating massagers, tapping massagers, thrusting massagers, rotating massagers, and app-controlled massagers.
Take a look at each in more detail to decide which is the best prostate massager for you:
A vibrating massager includes a small vibrating motor that adds sensation when you massage your prostate. There is usually a power switch and a control that lets you vary the intensity of the vibration at the base of the toy. Vibrating massagers can be battery-powered or rechargeable.
A tapping massager uses a small motor to provide a tapping sensation against your prostate. This tapping sensation is very close to the contracting your prostate experiences just before ejaculation, so recreates that 'point of no return' sensation.
The body of a thrusting massager is a moveable sleeve that, when turned on, moves back and forward to recreate a thrusting sensation around and against your prostate. Like a butt plug, a thrusting massager has a wide base that prevents over-insertion.
A rotating prostate massager uses a small motor to make the shaft of the toy rotate when inside you. Like vibrating, tapping, and thrusting massagers, this movement stimulates the prostate, helping to create the sensation you experience just before orgasm.
Some prostate massagers can connect to an app on your phone and be remotely controlled. This means your prostate play can be completely hands-free - or even controlled by someone else if you use an app that's designed for couples.
Using your prostate massager with a partner
Prostate massagers are a great addition to the bedroom whether you are using solo or interested in having your partner use it on you. This can be a great way to explore new and fun things and take your relationship to the next level.
Using with your partner is safe and enjoyable when done properly. There are a few precautions to take when having your partner use a prostate massager on you. Your partner should be well researched on how to give a prostate massage.
What position you are in also makes a big difference when starting out with a prostate massager. Some positions will be more advanced and harder to get into while others may be easier to achieve as a beginner. Try different positions and find other ideas to see what you enjoy the most.
- Have your partner clean their hands thoroughly.
- They should wear nitrile gloves if they feel the need.
- You should make sure your anus is well cleaned.
- Use lots of lubricant on your butt and toy.
- You need to be very communicative when they insert their fingers or toy into you.
- Help guide them to your p-spot by telling them what feels good and doesn't.
- Go SLOW!
Cleaning your prostate massager
To prevent any risk of infection, it's essential that you keep your prostate massager clean. Start by rinsing with water and a damp cloth to remove any debris, then apply a liquid soap and work the bubbles around all the curves and angles of the toy. Finish by drying and storing somewhere clean.
|Type of Toy||Suggested cleaning procedure|
|Non-Battery Operated||Deep cleaning, submerging the toy to make sure it's fully clean|
Check manufacturer guidelines on how to clean
That nature of sex toys - even battery-operated vibrating ones - means that they're usually at least splash-proof, so cleaning carefully with water, soap, and a cloth is usually safe. However, if you have a battery-operated toy, it's essential that you check the manufacturer's guidelines for how to clean - and always follow these instructions.
For non-battery operated toys, you are usually safe to submerge the toy to make sure it's fully clean. You may decide to use a touch skin-friendly anti-bacterial wash to make sure it's free from any germs.
If your toy isn't suitable for washing with water and soap, you may decide to explore dedicated anti-bacterial wipes designed for a sex toy. Again though, be absolutely sure to make sure any debris is removed and that your toy is thoroughly clean before it is stored.
Learn how to store your sex toys
We have put together this essential guide to storing your sex toys:
Risks and safety
Prostate massage is generally very safe if you begin carefully and gently until you understand what you like and don't like. However, there are some risks, including:
- Spreading of bacteria
- Hurting or damaging the sensitive tissue around your anus
- Injuring your prostate
You can avoid spreading bacteria by making sure your toy is cleaned before and after use. You may wish to clean around your genitals and anus before and after massaging too.
The best way to avoid hurting your anus, rectum, or the prostate itself is to begin very carefully and stop your play immediately if you feel any discomfort. Getting relaxed and used to the feeling of penetration is an absolutely essential step - so be patient and relax as much as you can.
Is there anyone who should avoid prostate stimulation?
Yes, if you have any of the following conditions, you should avoid using a prostate massager.
- Prostate cancer
- Bacterial prostatitis
- Fissures in or around the anus
Prostate Massagers FAQ and Resources
What can I do if I struggle to orgasm with my prostate massager?
Not everyone will be able to orgasm with a prostate massager alone. If you are struggling, try different motions, techniques, or vibrating patterns. You may even decide to try a different style of toy - or add some penile stimulation to your play. The key to quality prostate massaging is to relax, get comfortable, and be open minded. Practice makes perfect.
Using a prostate massager makes me pee
Don't worry; the sensation of needing to pee is common with people who use prostate massagers. People often find it's useful to stop, pee, then try again if it's uncomfortable. If the sensation comes back, you may be pushing too hard - try being gentler and letting the vibration patterns do the work instead.
I have trouble finding the p-spot with my massager
You should be able to find your P-Spot by gently inserting your massager then guiding it towards the front of your body. The prostate sits behind the base of your erect penis, so a massager with a curved head may help you get the ideal angle.
What lube should I use with my massager?
Water-based and silicone-based lubes are both popular choices for prostate massager use - but it's important to choose the one that's most compatible with your sex toy. A water-based lubricant will work with virtually all massagers - but doesn't have the water-resistant properties of silicone. A silky silicone lubricant is ideal for use in spas and showers - but check that it's safe to use with your toy before purchase. Silicone lube will last much longer and stay slicker than water-based lube as silicone cannot be absorbed by the skin whereas water-based gets absorbed.
I have hemorrhoids; should I use a prostate massager?
No. hemorrhoids' are very sensitive and can rupture with the pressure needed to insert a massager. Any bleeding in or around your anus can increase the risk of infection.
How long can I use my prostate massager for?
There are no medical guidelines relating to the amount of time you can use a prostate massager for. Since everyone's body is different, effectively massaging your prostate could be quick - or it could take some time. The key is to listen to your body - if you become at all uncomfortable or experience pain, it's time to stop.
Prostate stimulation has so many benefits and few risks involved that it is no wonder this is quickly becoming one of the most attractive sexual activities. There are many facts about the prostate that will help you lean just how to achieve that big-O. Happy Exploring!
Can I Use My Prostate Massager in the Shower?
Any manual (non-battery-operated) prostate massager can be taken in the shower. If you have a vibrating toy, check the instructions. Some toys are waterproof, while others are only water-resistant.
Final thoughts before you insert a prostate massager
Prostate massagers are a wonderful sex toy that can provide endless amounts of pleasure when done properly. Not only are they enjoyable, they are great for your health. No matter if it is your first time for you are experienced, it's important to choose the right toy for you, use lots of lube, and relax. Start small to get comfortable with anal penetration and work your way up to more advanced positions and massagers.
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