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Fleshlights have become one of the most popular sex toys for men, and it's easy to see why. Simulating all kinds of sex while masturbating with such a superb, slippery sex toy adds a level of realistic luxury to solo sessions other sex toys will struggle to match. Yet, more than that, its ability to provide a hands-free experience makes the whole thing feel even more authentic and exciting.
A Fleshlight feels as close to a mouth, vagina, or butt as you can imagine. Not only do they provide an incredibly realistic feel for your solo climaxes, but they also provide lifelike stamina training for partnered sex.
How to use a Fleshlight is fairly straightforward, but there are a few basics and golden rules everyone should know and follow. Once you've got a 'good grip' on how to use your Fleshlight properly, you're ready to explore our list of favorite positions.
1. Placing it on the edge of a mattress
Probably one of the most obvious places to use a Fleshlight is in the bedroom, and what better way to hold it steady than to wedge it between your mattress and bed base?
Prepare your chosen sex toy—as we're using the Fleshlight brand name here as a term for any masturbation cup—for penetration and pop it in place. On your knees, you're already replicating the Doggy Style position, so whatever rear-entry or anal sex fantasy gets you off the most, you're ready and raring to go.
Our top tip for using a Fleshlight trapped under your mattress
In this superb hands-free position, with your bed providing support for your laptop, tablet, or phone, we suggest opening your favorite porn site and working your way through the POV section. Not only will the real-feel material of your Fleshlight make your experience feel more realistic, but the visuals of your favorite porn star taking a penis will dictate the pace and duration of your session as the fantasy adds another level of realism to your session.
2. Your partner holding it
Fleshlights aren't just for solo sessions; they're great for foreplay, mutual masturbation, simulating one sex act while taking part in another, or giving your partner a break during lengthy oral sex sessions or hand jobs.
Whatever positions you choose to share together, adding an extra mouth, vagina, or butthole is like bringing another person into your playtime.
Fleshlights are a great option for 'faux jobs.'
A faux job is just like a blow job but without as much mouth-over-penis action. The giver can use their hand (covered in lube to replicate the wet-mouth feel) to stroke the shaft while only the penis tip enters the mouth. This gives the feeling of an entire mouth blow job but without the possibility of the receiver gagging or too much 'in-mouth' action for those who aren't comfortable giving full oral. The Fleshlight takes things a step further by letting your partner give you a simulated blow job experience without having to take your penis in their mouth at all.
Our top tip for partner play with Fleshlights
If both partners have a penis, adding a Fleshlight to anal sex positions where one partner straddles and rides the other means no penis has to be left uncovered. Get your traditional or Reverse Cowgirl/Cowboy on, and you can be super-stimulated front and back.
3. On your back
Lie back, relax, and masturbate just as nature intended. With the slippery sensation of lubed-up real skin and the realistic textures Fleshlights provide, you can enjoy the simple chilled-out pleasure of reclining, relaxing, and enjoying the ride. Let your imagination go wild at the idea of being ridden Cowgirl style while your masturbation sleeve provides a realistic feel to match the images playing out in your mind.
Our top tip for using a Fleshlight lying on your back
Despite the outer case providing a solid item to enhance your grip, sliding the sleeve out allows you to change your grip pressure while you play. Altering your grip can provide a tighter fit and more pressure and friction when you want it, simulating a partner clenching around your penis, allowing you to feel greater contact with all those ridges, ripples, and bumps within the sleeve, each adding something new to your experience.
4. On a folded pillow
There are plenty of creative ways to go hands-free with your Fleshlight, and a folded pillow is a common option. You can use your bodyweight to trap your sex toy in a single folded pillow (or a couple of pillows), but the end result is the same. You can grind, thrust, and hammer away at it for as long as you like, simulating Missionary position or any others that allow a similar angle of penetration.
Our top tip for pillow-based Fleshlight play
Grab a couple of belts to hold your Fleshlight in the middle of a rolled-up pillow, and get creative with where you use it. Laying down on top of it simulates Missionary, but think of all the other positions you can simulate by placing it on the back of a sofa, a kitchen worktop, a desk, or a storage unit up against the wall.
The other advantage of going hands-free with your masturbation sleeve is that you can stimulate other parts of your body that are begging for some attention.
It's a great opportunity to introduce some anal play to your session, adding a few other sex toys into the mix. Using a prostate massager, finger, or butt plug can only increase the intensity of your session and its resulting climaxes.
5. In the shower (with an adaptor)
Shower mounts are your best friend for simulating any standing sex you'd enjoy in the shower with your partner. Whether they're down on their knees sucking you to climax or bent against the wall, taking every inch of you from behind, the only thing you have to concern yourself with is keeping your shower mount away from the spray so it doesn't wash out the lubrication.
Our top tip for using a Fleshlight with a shower mount
You'll enjoy all the same benefits of using your Fleshlight in the bedroom, office, kitchen, or living room, but your shower-based solo play is easier than ever to clean up once you're done.
There's no need to worry about spilling semen as you remove the toy and head for a sink; simply whip it out of the shower mount, remove the sleeve, and rinse it clear under the shower head. Let the sleeve dry as normal (letting it air dry is fine—there's a strong chance you'll damage it by putting it in the microwave or using a heating appliance), apply some renewing powder, and you'll be ready to go again the next time your sex drive needs some attention.
6. Sitting on a chair
Sitting on a chair might not seem like the most popular position until you consider how much live porn and chat, video-calling with partners, and porn consumption happens sitting in front of a laptop or desktop computer.
Sitting behind a desk allows you or your partner to keep your masturbating action out of view when engaged in video chat and long-distance mutual masturbation. If you or your partner isn't yet comfortable with sharing naked images or videos online, it's a great way to keep those most private details just out of view.
Our top tip for using a Fleshlight while sitting on a chair
If your live chat is one-on-one or your partner loves to watch you and your masturbation techniques close up during your video call, we'd suggest you check how things are going to appear on-screen in advance. Getting the position and lighting right won't just help your partner see exactly what's going on but also help you present yourself in the best way possible.
Also, keep some tissues and clean-up materials close by.
7 tips to get the most out of your masturbator
A Harvard study concluded that when it came to prostate cancer:
High ejaculation frequency was linked to a decreased risk. Compared to men who reported 4–7 ejaculations per month across their lifetimes, men who ejaculated 21 or more times a month enjoyed a 31% lower risk of prostate cancer.
Not only that but vibrating products have been shown to help in the treatment of male sexual dysfunctions. While sexual pleasure may be the focus of your masturbation practices, there's evidence for a wide range of sexual, physiological, and mental health benefits brought on by regular masturbation and ejaculation (reduced anxiety, greater endorphins release, better sleep quality, and a higher level of general life satisfaction, to name but a few) and the use of sex toys (penis pumps, constriction bands (cock rings), and vibrators for use on the penis).
If that isn't a great reason to spend more time exploring the world of sex toys and the immense pleasure they provide, we don't know what is.
However, to get the most from your sex toy collection and to keep you safe, here are a few essential considerations for Fleshlight use that everyone should follow.
1. Use plenty of lube
Without lube, you'll feel just the same as going in dry with your partner—and that's a big no-no for everyone. To get that super-slippery and sensitive stimulation you'd get from a real vagina, load that sleeve with enough water-based lube to keep things nice and wet for the duration of your session. Also, make sure you lube the sleeve right to the end; you'll be doing a lot of heavy thrusting and will likely utilize every last centimeter your Fleshlight offers.
To keep things realistic, stand your bottle of lube in hot water for ten minutes or so before adding it to your sleeve. That way, you'll be entering a nice warm mouth or pussy, just like the real thing.
And as long as it's compatible with your toy, why not use a lube that adds even more sensation? There are plenty of hot or cold-feel lubes that can add a tingle to sensitive skin or other sensations to your sleeve play.
A quick reminder about lubes: Silicone-based lube is renowned for breaking down silicone and other sex toy materials, so always stick to water-based lube when you use a Fleshlight.
2. Clean it every time you use it
To clean your Fleshlight properly, remove the inner sleeve from the case and rinse it thoroughly in warm water. Even though the sleeve is likely to be the messiest part of your toy, you should always clean the Fleshlight case after each use, too.
Please don't use soap on your Fleshlight sleeve, as it could damage the SuperSkin material.
We also suggest you check your regular sex toy cleaner is compatible with the material in your Fleshlight.
If you're not 100% certain, we suggest sticking to warm water or using specially designed Fleshlight cleaners that are made for the job and applying some renewing powder once it's properly dried. Renewing powder prevents sleeves from getting sticky and tacky, keeping them feeling like new, especially when you might not be using them for long periods.
3. Flush it with hot water
As we mentioned in our lube tip, flushing your Fleshlight sleeve with hot or warm water before use will warm it up, making it feel more realistic.
Alternatively, why not invest in a custom sleeve warmer or warming rod for your Fleshlight? These custom-designed accessories will fit most Fleshlights and warm the inner sleeve without water, achieving the specific temperature you need to simulate the sensation of real sex.
4. Have fun with your environment/furniture for better positions
Whether you're wedging your toy in tight spaces or with the help of a little duct tape, your Fleshlight will sit securely in place on most household surfaces. And with a little rubbing alcohol or nail varnish remover to remove any residue, nobody will ever know you were there.
- Kneeling with your fleshlight wedged under the couch cushions
- Laying on the sofa with the fleshlight wedged between the couch cushions
- Standing at the back of a couch/armchair
- Standing in front of sideboards, kitchen worktops, or other storage units
- Kneeling in front of an ottoman
- Standing in front of a kitchen stool
- Kneeling in front of a footstool
- Kneeling between a pair of footstools
- Alternatively, you can use nightstands, bookshelves, TV stands, coffee tables, desk drawers, etc. The only limit is your imagination.
5. Invest in a holder
We regularly recommend sex pillows for enhancing your favorite sex positions with easier and better-supported angles of penetration. For anyone going pro with their Fleshlight experience, you might want to invest in a sex pillow with a cut-out for your sex toy.
As we discussed earlier, if you want to get all DIY with a makeshift sleeve holder, roll up a couple of pillows with your Fleshlight in the middle and hold the entire construction with a couple of belts. A rolled-up sleeping bag will do just the same job.
For the laziest and most relaxed sessions, how about an automated stroker? Even though the Fleshlight Launch has been discontinued, they're still widely available. They deliver a scintillating 250 strokes per minute and can focus on any part of the penis. Don't worry about racing out to buy one before they're no longer available; plenty of alternative brands offer their own versions, all ready and waiting for you to take your favorite pocket pussy for a hands-free jerk.
Going back to another point we mentioned earlier, you can't beat a suction cup version or a Fleshlight shower mount.
It's a great option for a hands-free experience and doesn't necessarily only belong on the shower wall (but remember to add plenty of water-based lubricant for your shower play). It will stick to almost any flat surface with a smooth, glossy finish.
6. Explore different sleeves and brands
Masturbation sleeves are incredibly popular throughout the sex toy industry, with a huge range of different models of Fleshlight and plenty of alternative brands of masturbation sleeves to choose from.
Each will have its own unique feel: anal Fleshlight sleeves will be tight and snug to emulate anal sex, whereas others replicate a mouth for a more oral sex feel. When expanding your collection, why not explore the Fleshlight Girls and Fleshjack Boys sleeves based on famous porn stars?
For those using sex toys for stamina training, Fleshlight has something just for you. The Pink Lady STU (stamina training unit) offers a slightly tighter fit than the original and is full of intense, stimulating textures.
7. Play around with the suction
If you hadn't realized, the twist cap at the base of each Fleshlight case allows you to play with the amount of suction inside the sleeve. Each twist of the end cap adds suction to your play, delivering different sensations emulating oral, anal, or vaginal sex.
Exploring how each level feels, you can choose which will best suit the position and type of sex you're replicating: oral in the shower, anal for your Doggy Style adventures at the side of the bed, or vaginal sex in the Missionary position with your toy strapped in some pillows or tucked in a shoe.
8. Add a little buzz to your Fleshlight
Masturbation doesn't have to be manual. With vibrating features being added to everything, male masturbators are no exception. In fact, as well as vibrating, there are masturbators that spin, suck, stroke, and jerk. There are models with motion sensors, models that connect via Bluetooth to your phone, and others that connect to partnered sex toys via the Internet.
9. Explore your wildest fantasies in VR with hi-tech masturbators
If you don't have a partner or anyone to link your sex toys together with, why not connect a hands-free masturbator and VR goggles to a virtual world of erotic content? With high-quality videos available in 180 or 360 degrees, this type of solo masturbation session could be the most hi-tech and realistic fantasy masturbation you can experience.
10. Take a few test drives before investing in the big guns
While those hi-tech options will look like a pricey investment for a first-timer, thankfully, there are plenty of great options available at a much more affordable price. You can start your exploration for as little as $10, with a range of 5-star reviewed products at lower prices. Once you've got a feel for what works best for you, you can invest as much as you want into expanding your collection.
Summary
With the incredibly realistic sensations provided by the lifelike materials, there's no wonder the Fleshlight is one of the leading male sex toys on the market. For those with a penis, masturbation toys have never been so easily available and with so much choice. As far as the sex toy conversation is going, using toys for solo and partnered play is becoming more normalized, which is great news for anyone who'd like to take the plunge.
It turns out now is as good a time as ever to take your first steps into aided masturbation, with amazing and realistic masturbation toys at every price.
Going back to another point we mentioned earlier, you can't beat a suction cup version or a Fleshlight shower mount.
The global sex toys market was worth an estimated $32.72 billion USD and is projected to keep growing. Sadly, the male sex toy market (in 2019) accommodated only $15,390 million USD of a billion-dollar industry. As men typically masturbate more than women, and women typically use toys during masturbation more than men, isn't it time both men and women worked to address the balance in both those areas?
Once you've 'got to grips' with your new toy, exploring inspirational ideas can help to spice things up. We hope our list of favorite positions has helped you uncover a few new creative ways to use your Fleshlight and any other pleasure products you've added to your solo or partnered play sessions.
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