Making Your Own Sex Toys
While there is absolutely nothing at all to be ashamed of when it comes to sex toys for men, it turns out that some guys are in fact still a little bashful about improving their sex lives.
One study suggests that almost 70% of men have never even used a sex toy. The chances are if all of these guys haven’t even used one, they’ve almost certainly not plucked up the courage to go out and buy one.
There is zero reason why you should not go out and make your sex life better with a toy, but we understand that taboos and hang-ups can be difficult to get over for many. With this in mind, we want to share the sex toy love with all those guys who are still too coy about making the jump and getting one of their own.
This extensive break down of some of the simple (and weirdest) DIY sex toys that you can put together in the comfort and privacy of your own home is sure to get the fires burning.
We hope that they do such a good trick that next time you’ll leave it to the professionals and go out and purchase the real thing.
The DIY toys described below can be enjoyed by all men, regardless of sexual persuasion, and in most cases you should definitely use a latex glove or condom when getting your fun on.
Top Homeade Sex Toys for Men
- Melons (and similar fruit)
- Rolled up Towels
- Squid (yes, our friends from the ocean)
- Electric Toothbrushes
- Hair Scrunchies
- Meat (steak and other similar animal biproducts)
- Cuddly Toys (stuffed animals)
- A Banana Peel
- PVC Pipe and Your Mouth
You will see a theme developing over the course of this article. Food will feature somewhat disproportionately.
We’ll kick it off with the good old melon as it feels like a pretty wholesome, and simple, way for us to dive into DIY sex toys for men.
Just about everyone should be able to pick up a melon at the store. And ideally, you want one that is just beyond ripe so that the fruit is getting all nice and squishy inside.
Once purchased, cut the bad boy in half and then cut a hole in the center of one of the halves. The hole that you make should be a bit smaller than your mighty member. It’s got to be like this, or there’ll be no give when it’s time to get going.
When you’re all done with the cutting, it’s time to kick off the slacks, dim the lights, and get pumping on that sweet, sweet melon. Close your eyes while deep inside this melon and you can envision your favorite XXX star, just like using a porn star pocket pussy.
The beauty of these DIY sex toys for men is that they are not like everyday do it yourself. People throw around the DIY term like it’s an easy undertaking, but household DIY is usually a torturous ordeal for most males.
Thankfully, homemade sex toys for men really are incredibly simple undertakings, and most involve ordinary household objects.
The towel is a perfect example. Everybody has one, but not everybody uses it as a sex toy. Until now!
In prison, this use of the towel is known as the ‘Fifi”. Not sure why, but it is.
To put your own personal Fifi together, just follow this simple method:
- Place the small towel on a flat surface, with a condom or latex glove stretched out inside it. Leave the condom or glove hanging outside of the towel by about an inch.
- Now roll this still innocent towel up tight like a burrito.
- Next pull back the condom or glove over the edges of the rolled-up towel and secure it in place with a rubber band. As you see, you’ll now have a vagina like hole in the previously innocuous little towel.
- Dash a bit of lube in there and get to work, cowboy!
This one might be a little intense for some people, but it certainly lends itself to authenticity when it comes to feel, and that’s usually what we’re looking for in our sex toys.
Quite simply, add an extra body to the pile the next time you’re shopping for calamari. Make sure this extra special squid is more or less the size of your penis.
Now, chop off the head and innards, and make sure you give the poor thing an extensive clean.
When the freshly cleansed squid has dried out a bit, throw some lube into the mix, and you’re all set to go wild on that squishy little thing.
So far we’ve focused on how you can recreate the act of giving, but DIY sex toys can be equally useful for those guys who also like to take too.
An alternative use for the electric toothbrush is to get those rapid vibrations stimulating your balls. This can be a big turn on for some men, and you may also want to get a bit more adventurous and send it in the direction of the gooch.
For those not in the know, the gooch is the area of the body between the balls and the anus, and it’s a highly erotic spot if you ever go there.
While enjoying the loving vibes of the electric toothbrush, you could always ram a finger up your bum too to get everything going all at once.
The adventurous can take the electric toothbrush down into the nether regions of the gooch, and the really hardcore can employ a little bit of friction to their sexual pleasure.
DIY sex toys can be employed no matter how you like it, and some gentlemen out there do like to enter into the realms of pain when it comes to sexual satisfaction.
One such method could include the very simple introduction of a sponge into your home-satisfaction routine.
Purchase a brand-new one for the job, obviously, and give it a good wash just to be sure before getting down to action.
Once dried out, apply the sponge to your balls or the shaft of your penis during the act of self-arousal. The intensity of the pressure you apply is all up to your particular pain threshold.
After talk of the mythical gooch and the dive into some mild SM, we should make things a little more vanilla.
A great way to recreate the sensation that can be brought about by a cock ring is through a regular scrunchie.
Simply take the scrunchie, twist it, and fold it back on itself while placed around your penis. The twist and fold method can be repeated until the scrunchie is clamped tightly around your weapon.
The pressure the scrunchie places downstairs will produce a harder, longer erection.
Much like the earlier incident with the squid, meat of all shapes and sizes can reproduce that authentic sexual feeling.
Whether it be chicken, a slab of beef, or even a solid piece of salmon; if you can fashion a cock sized hole into it, you can get your rocks off into it.
A pro tip would be to place your chosen piece of meat into the microwave before getting down. This will give the meat a feeling of warmth which will only heighten further the experience.
It takes all shapes and sizes, and you can often find pleasure wherever you want to. If you really want to!
A great example of this is the old, cuddly toy. This may seem a little twisted for some people, but the tightly packed but soft insides of a cuddly toy actually makes it the perfect pleasure toy for men.
It’s probably a good idea if it’s not one that you grew up with as a kid as that would be a bit rough on old teddy, but at the end of the day, there are no rules.
Once you’ve chosen your preferred cuddly toy, carefully cut a hole into the section you’d like to penetrate. Be careful that the stuffing doesn’t fall out before you get to work.
Before getting at it, it’s perhaps a good idea to slip on a condom as we don’t know where teddy has been.
When you’re all set, lay the cuddly toy down and go wild on that ass!
And back to the food based DIY sex toys, although the peel of a banana is not something that people usually partake in. That was until now!
There is a fine art to employing banana peel as sex toy. First you need to chop off the top of the banana, and then delicately squeeze out all of the actual banana. You should also give it a good rinse out to get rid of any remnants.
In a similar fashion to the meat DIY sex toy, you can also choose to give the banana a little ride around the inside of a microwave. Be careful though as you don’t want any trips to the emergency room where you need to explain how your cock got burnt by banana skin.
Once you’re sure the banana skin is the right temperature, wear that yellow skin like it’s a condom and have yourself a good old time.
This sex toy could be considered an accessory more than an actual sex toy, but it’s definitely something worth giving a go in conjunction with any of the other methods outlined here.
Earplugs can increase your levels of excitement and add an extra layer of anticipation to your DIY sexual encounters.
Basically, plugging in some earplugs is going to give you the sensation of not exactly being there the way you usually are. This sensation, especially when in solo action, will make you feel as though everything is edgier and different.
With a reduced sense of control and spatial awareness, your body and its sensations could well go to some higher levels. Just make sure the neighbors are out!
Many are the sad tale of those who have tried to get a hoover vacuum involved in their DIY sex sessions. Massive spoiler alert, those experiences are almost universally terrible ones. Electrically powered suction should not be applied to your dick at any time.
The above might have been heartbreaking news to some, but worry not as the PVC pipe is here to save the day.
Not only can PVC pipe do the job that a hoover really can’t, it can also grant access to the holy grail: the self blowjob.
Let’s break this one down properly:
- Head on down to your local hardware store and buy some PVC pipe insulation. It must be wide enough to take your load, but not too wide so you won’t feel it at all. (Remember this is your erect penis we’re talking about, not your limp dick.)
- Once you’re within the confines of your own home, chop down the pipe so its length covers the distance between your cock and your mouth.
- Now add some lube to your big lad, attach the pipe, and start sucking on the other end.
- Congratulations, you have now entered DIY sex heaven!
A footnote on this one is to be careful. Your mouth is not a vac, but you still need to make sure you don’t suck too hard and end up damaging your johnson.
A list like this one wouldn’t be complete without keeping it real and adding this old-school bad boy.
Based on its shape and girth, it’s quite likely that no man or woman alive has ever looked at this vegetable and not had their mind drawn to its possibilities outside of it going in a salad.
The above sentiment applies to all men, both gay and straight,
For those accustomed to taking it in the back door, the cucumber is a natural appendage to help hurry along a boring Sunday afternoon.
For those who do not normally partake in this kind of practice, the cucumber could act as a kind of gateway drug to broadening your sexual horizons.
Whichever side you land on, it’s better if you cover said cucumber in some saran wrap or a condom before sliding it up your butt. You know, hygiene and all that.
With this extensive list of all the ways that you can find pleasure in the most basic of everyday items, there is now no reason why any man should hold back when feeling the urges of sexual yearning at home.
These DIY methods will brighten up any day, and they will also hopefully open up your eyes to the fun you could be having on a more regular basis with a real sex toy or two for those lonely nights at home when you all want to do is get your dog on.