How to Simulate a Realistic Blow Job | The Ultimate Guide

Most, if not all men agree that blow jobs are the peak experience of sexual pleasure. The wetness, suction, and contrasting sensations are unlike any other sexual act. Not to mention the view! Whether you’re gay or straight, receiving such an intimate gift from a partner is unbelievably sexy.

But what about when you’re unable to get a blow job?

You may not have a partner at the moment, or be involved with someone who can’t, or won’t provide a blow job. The next best option? Any creative and horny guy can tell you: you’ve got to find something to simulate the experience.

So how do you simulate a blow job?

Below we’ll go over DIY, home-made options, plus our top tips to simulate a blow job with them. Then we’ll delve into the even more realistic, mind-blowing options of manual and automatic blow job simulators. If all else fails and your body allows for it, you can always try self fellatio but for many, sucking our own dick is simply out of the question.

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Tips to simulate a blow job

Let’s be clear, simulated blowjobs are simply artful ways to masturbate, and yet the desired end result is that the solo sex is more similar to an actual blowjob, rather than a lonely tug with some trusty lube. You can use toys to stimulate a blowjob or simply take our tips to simulate a blowjob for those lonely nights. 

MacGyver or machine: it’s up to you. Masturbation will never be the same.

Tips to simulate a blowjob DIY style

As any guy can tell you, sexual frustration often leads to sexual innovation. It’s no wonder that men have been coming up with creative DIY blow job simulations with at-home materials since time immemorial. 

Though at-home options have a tough time recreating the unique sensations of tongue, lips, and throat action, we have some hot tips to simulate a blow job with materials you may already have lying around.

The benefits of a little DIY know-how are endless. If your hand is getting boring and you can’t wait to order a toy, these options are great alternatives. Plus, there’s no shame in feeling a little bit of pride at your own sexual engineering. What use is man’s intellect if it can’t be aimed at the important issues? 

• Lotion/conditioner/lube bottles

Though it may take some trial-and-error to find a plastic bottle with the right circumference and length… when you do? Take good care of her. She’ll treat you well.

That’s because the right-sized lotion or conditioner bottle can easily be used to simulate the suction and pressure of the human mouth.

Find a bottle with the right circumference to just fit around your erect penis. Empty it of half of its contents. Grease the rim with some water-based lube, and insert yourself. When you squeeze the bottle, the negative pressure should create a bit of suction. Then thrust away! 

Cooked meat

It’s not the solution you’d brag to your friends about, perhaps, but it can feel quite good.

A favorite way to simulate a blow job with meat is to carve a hole (girth and length customizable) into a cooked ham. You can toss it in the microwave to heat up, then slather the hole with lube. The close-ended hole should create suction when you pump into it, recreating the feeling of that tight blow job.

A word of warning: Do NOT use raw meat for this. Uncooked meat contains bacteria that you don’t want anywhere near your precious goods. And whatever meat you use, toss it straight in the trash afterwards.

Homemade blow job simulator

For the MacGyvers of the blow job world, a horny evening may turn into an impressive feat of engineering. There are several ways to simulate a blowjob with materials lying around the house: let’s explore one. 

Here’s the classic Cup and Sponge:

• Get a plastic cup (or Pringles can or soda bottle with the top cut off).
• Take a couple kitchen sponges (soft side in, please!) and fill them with warm water. Place them inside the cup. Some people add bubble wrap at this stage for an even more interesting sensation.
• Then take a plastic glove and tuck it in between the sponges. Turn the wrist of the glove inside-out around the lip of the cup, and secure it with a rubber band.
• Slather the inside of the glove with lube, and you have a DIY blow job in your hand. 

If you’re feeling innovative, here’s even more ideas.

What not to do

This might seem cringe-worthy but it’s got to be said: whatever you do, do not stick your penis into a vacuum. I can’t tell you the statistics on emergency room vacuum dick visits per year, but trust me… you don’t want to be one of them.

What blow job simulating toys are the best?

Now you’re asking the real questions. However fun DIY solutions might be, blowjob simulators that you can buy online are bound to be safer, easier to clean, and more authentic.

Blowjob simulator sex toys mimic the feeling of a blowjob unlike anything else. They are designed to be super realistic, and are made from lifelike materials that feel just like the inside of a slippery, hot mouth. Often you can control the degree of suction to be as gentle or punishing as you like. And best of all? These jaws never get tired.

What’s best for you? That depends on your needs and price point. Our top seven sellers are listed below, ready to give you the sensational blow job you deserve.

7/6) Vulcan Tight Mouth / Vulcan Ripe Mouth

Vulcan Sleeves produce unbeatable stroker toys, and the extra-tight lips and powerful multi-speed vibrator included with these models take them over the edge. The variation in vibration speed and adjustable suction levels will keep your penis guessing, just like a real blow job.

These toys are 100% waterproof, and come with a discreet case. The soft Refined Touch material, combined with unique textures and pleasurable ribbing along the inner channel, will provide you with thrillingly realistic sensations.

The Ripe Mouth is set apart with its detailed, realistically molded lips that grip you as you slide inside. But both models are going to give you a tight, wet feel, with the bonus of spectacular, powerful vibration.

5) Doc Johnson Super Sucker Oral Sex Simulating UR3 Masturbation Stroker for Men

This discrete sleeve is waterproof, portable, and made from the super authentic-feeling UR3 material, for a phthalate-free, non-toxic, body safe experience. It does an incredible job mimicking a slick, unforgettable blowjob, with realistically molded lips, a textured canal, and intense suction.

Doc Johnson’s Super Sucker is durable, compact, and can fit any size penis. Plus, it’s easy to clean. Add plenty of lube, and be prepared to jerk off to the tight sensation of a wet, willing mouth.

4) Sue Johanson Super Head Honcho Masturbator and Stroker

From famed sex educator Sue Johanson, this best-selling stroker is perfectly designed to simulate the bone-melting sucking sensation of a real blow job. This portable and waterproof masturbator is made from the extremely stretchy, jelly-like Cyberskin, and feels as close to a soft mouth as you’ll find, while still being phthalate-free and hypoallergenic.

The opening of the stroker is molded into a sensual set of puckered lips, and the inner chambers contain specially arranged bumps and ribs that will suck and stroke you to completion. 

3) PDX Elite Blowjob Power Pump

PDX has engineered a state-of-the-art electric penis pump that combines the penis-enlarging technology of a pump, with the pleasurable sucking sensation of a blow job for the ultimate combination toy. The pump sleeve looks and feels exactly like a real mouth, with super-soft lips, and uses IST (Intermittent Suction Technology) to perfectly emulate the sensations of a real blow job.

The PDX Elite is a one-handed, electric pump with a clear vacuum cylinder. It has a quick release valve for safety, and is easy to use. Its quiet and powerful motor runs for hours on just two AA batteries.

Best of all, it includes a free silicone cock ring set, lubricant, and sex toy cleaner.

2) Flicking Tongue Oral Sex Masturbator & Multispeed Vibrator by LOVEBOTZ

The best of both worlds, this incredible automatic blow job simulator provides both rechargeable vibrating sensations, and a unique flicking oral sex “tongue” inside.

The tongue is powered by a quiet vibrator that has three adjustable speeds and four functions that recreate a mind-blowing stroking and licking feeling.

Enjoy the tight squeeze as you thrust into a realistic pussy sleeve, then enjoy the tongue action on the other end. Used with lots of lube, this Lovebotz toy will keep you coming back again and again.

1) Vedo Hummer Auto Blow Job Machine

For the most intense, realistic blow job simulation available on the market, you’ve got to go with the Vedo Hummer. This hand-free machine works at five adjustable levels of intensity and stroking speeds, for 25 unique, unforgettable simulated blow jobs.

This is top of the line stuff, and the price point reflects it. But if you can invest in your sexual health and happiness, nothing beats the realism of this fully automatic machine with super powerful suction. Lube yourself up, plug it into the wall, and prepare to be blown away.

Give yourself the pleasure you deserve.

The only thing that beats a blow job? A blow job you can have whenever you want.

Make your own, or enjoy astonishingly realistic blow job simulator toys that allow you to recreate the exhilarating sensation for yourself, whenever, and wherever your horny heart desires.