Male Sexual Enhancement: We give some frank answers five of your most frequently asked questions
1). I’ve worried for a long time that I cum too quickly. How quick is premature ejaculation? How do I know if I have it and is it curable?
Guys with premature ejaculation tend to cum around a minute after penetration. But it’s not just about timing. Sometimes we all want to blow our load, and we just can’t wait. That’s not necessarily premature ejaculation; it could be impatience or outright animal lust. Premature ejaculation, on the other hand, is usually characterized by an inability to stop yourself from cumming when you want to hold back. It is also associated with negative consequences such as stress, frustration, embarrassment, anger, and shying away from intimacy.
There are a few things that might help. Some guys try delay creams and sprays—while others practice building their sexual stamina with a male masturbator or ‘pocket pussy.' Often rubbing one out earlier in the day before the ‘Big Show’ can make sex last longer. But jerking off will reduce the amount you cum (volume), so it’s a question of balance. Tread lightly on masturbation if you want to cum a lot. Other guys try Kegels or breathing control—sometimes known as edging. It’s a question of finding what works best for you and your partner.
If you’ve experienced premature ejaculation for a sustained period of time, we’d recommend talking to your doctor and getting some personalized medical advice.
2). Is my dick too small to satisfy my partner? Please, can you tell me how small a small penis is? Should I be concerned, and what can I do?
Well, first off, you’re not alone. Around 45% of men believe they have a small penis[i]. But doctors suggest that a small penis is one with a flaccid length of fewer than 1.6 inches or an erect length of three inches[ii]. If that’s not you, then you have no medical reason to worry. We’ve pulled a few statistics to give you some context:
- The average cock is around 5.6 inches in length and 4.8 inches in circumference[iii].
- 90% of men have between a four and six-inch erect penis
- Only 0.1% of guys have a penis larger than nine inches[iv]. That’s 1 in 1000—unless you're watching a lot of porn. Then every guy seems to have nine inches.
But anxiety about the size of your dick isn’t just a mathematical, statistical or medical matter. It goes deeper than that—it relates to how a guy feels about himself and his overall confidence levels. Just like some men want bigger biceps before they put on a sleeveless shirt, other guys want a bigger dick before they feel confident in bed.
The good news here is that any guy—no matter what his size—can improve the size of his manhood. Options include penis pumps and plumping creams which both draw more blood into your dick to enhance its size and shape. Try one of these in combination with a cock ring to trap the blood for a harder, longer-lasting dick.
You could also take a tip from the porn stars and trim your pubes. Manscaping, as it’s called, is simple and straight forward with its logic—the shorter your pubic hair, the longer your dick will look. Lastly, and quite frankly, the easiest yet hardest way to increase the size of your penis is to lose weight. Men tend to add a little “padding” to the pelvis area when they get a belly. This fat actually covers part of the penis up so lose it and see the difference!
3). We’ve always been happy with our love life, but I’ve started to find it difficult to get hard. I’m in my early 40s—so I don't think it’s “the change." What can I do about it?
- Let’s start by naming the condition. It's Erectile Dysfunction (ED). And it’s still a massive male taboo—guys just don't want to talk about it. Sometimes ED is a temporary thing and other times it’s longer-lasting.
ED affects as many as 30 million men—and that’s just in the US. About 40% of men are affected by erectile dysfunction at age 40, and nearly 70% of men are affected by ED by the time they turn 70[v]. The causes are complex—as is the chemical and physical process that gets you hard. It involves your brain, hormones, emotions, nerves, blood flow, and muscles. Physical health—particularly heart health, can cause ED, but so can psychological issues such as stress, depression, and relationship problems.
Regardless of the frequency, duration or reason, no guy likes to think he’s giving less than his best. But there are several things you can do about it. These include getting healthy—check your ideal body weight and set a target to reach it if you’re not already there. Penis pumps, in combination with a cock ring, will also give you a helping hand getting hard.
For full advice and support in dealing with ED, we always recommend talking to your own doctor or healthcare professional so that they can offer the best treatment options for your particular case.
4). My partner has always been satisfied with my performance, but I want to take our sex to the next level. What would be your top recommendations?
First off, if you’ve never tried it before, get hold of some lube. No matter how great your sex was previously, lube will turn up intensity and intimacy levels for you both. It encourages greater closeness, exploration of each other's bodies and promotes extended foreplay—and all of which ultimately leads to longer sexual encounters and more extreme orgasms.
Lube shifts some of the focus away from actual intercourse to other forms of stimulation, so it’s a great way to take things up a notch and start your experimentation. In the past, lots of people felt lube was only necessary for older women or couples unable to self-lubricate. Thankfully, those days are far behind us and most people are aware that no matter how wet you already are, lube still makes sex better. If you're new to lube, start with a water-based option and take it from there!
We’d also recommend giving edging a try. Edging is where you bring yourself (or your partner brings you, or you bring your partner) to the point just before orgasm—and then you step back. The intensity will mount each time you repeat the process. Eventually, your entire body will be consumed by sexual energy and desire so that when you finally do go over ‘the edge’ your orgasms will be all the more intense, powerful and fulfilling.
Now, this will take some practice—and you’ll both more than likely get caught out a few times along the way, and be unable to hold back. But persevere, we promise it will be worth it. Make sure you're both on the same page before you try this—it's not something you can master without a bit of discussion first.
Remember that stopping and starting sexual stimulation can send unclear signals if your partner doesn't know why it’s happening. If you decide that edging is for you both, then try building up your pelvic floor muscles with some Kegels—they work for men and women and help you both develop the control and stamina you need when edging.
Lastly, try out any of the vibrating cock rings available. The additional vibrations will really heat up the sex and get you both going. We always recommend you try out a silicone cock ring that is rechargeable, those tend to be the best and highest quality. Try this out, trust us.
5). Are there sex toys for men? What are the best sex toys on the market for men to enjoy with their partners?
1). Cock rings
If you’re new to male sex toys, we’d suggest starting out with a cock ring. They have a low entry price point, are easy to bring into the bedroom with your partner and the results—including a harder, larger and longer-lasting cock—will please both of you in equal measure. Some cock rings also feature ball stretchers, while others offer a vibrating option, double penetration and prostate stimulation options —each of which brings extra levels of enjoyment, arousal, and pleasure.
2). Male masturbators
You might think that male masturbators are just for solo use—and although they’re a lot of fun used that way; they can also spice things up with your partner. Get them to use one on you, and you’ll see what we mean. There’s a whole range of discreetly designed, masturbators, and sleeves that not intended to replace your partner, but increase the satisfaction and intensity of your shared intimate moments.
3). Prostate massagers
If you're feeling adventurous, prostate massagers will help you find, explore and enjoy the male G-spot (often called the P-spot)—which will result in intense, explosive orgasms. Prostate stimulation will also allow many guys to experience multiple orgasms for the first time.
Now, there’s no way to get around this, but you have to put most prostate massages inside your butt. We appreciate that’s not for everyone, but you'd be surprised how many men—regardless of their sexuality (sexual preference)—enjoy the sensation. If you really don't like the idea, you can still stimulate your prostate gland externally with a different kind of massager.
Crucially, you should have an open conversation about bringing any sex toys into bed with your partner. Some people may think it’s because you’re not getting enough satisfaction (which may or may not be the case). Regardless, you should either set their mind at ease or explain your reasons— even if they don’t ask.
If you’ve found this advice useful, stay tuned… we’ll be answering more of your male sexual enhancement questions in the not-too-distant future.