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Listen to an audio summary

Mutual masturbation is the act of pleasuring yourself while your partner or partners watch. You can indulge in mutual self pleasuring to satisfy yourself, your partner, or all parties.

As such, it may or may not involve reciprocity. It can include reciprocity when you do it as part of foreplay or as an activity in your sexual repertoire.

During mutual masturbation, partners can:

  • Touch and pleasure themselves while the other watches
  • Take turns watching as each partner touches and pleasures themselves
  • Help each other out by touching, kissing, or fingering

Solo play is a great way to discover your erogenous areas, learn how to have the best orgasm, and how to control when you climax. Inevitably, mutual masturbation helps partners understand each other's bodies better and increases their chances of experiencing simultaneous orgasms.

Thanks to advanced technology, you and your partner don't even need to be in the same room to get off; you can enjoy mutual solo play via videos or voice calls.

For a long time, masturbation was considered taboo and thought to only happen in private. Therefore, it can be nerve-wracking and may make you feel vulnerable

I’m here to show you how it's done to ensure you get over your performance anxiety and own your sexuality.

Best Straight Couple Positions for Mutual Masturbation

As with all sex acts, there are a lot of different ways you can enjoy mutual pleasuring depending on your level of vulnerability and comfort.

Here are some of the most intriguing positions you can try with your partner.

Golden rule

Get into it together but separately, meaning your pleasure is the goal

1 - Side-By-Side

If you’re just starting to explore the world of mutual masturbation, then this is a great pioneer position. Being in this position makes you feel less vulnerable owing to the fact that although your partner can tell what you are doing, they can't map out all that's happening.

It's also a great position for couples who are a little shy and want to avoid awkwardness.

The side-by-side position involves both partners lying down next to each other. The position offers multiple opportunities to boost intimacy and connectedness. For instance, you can:

  • Overlap limbs
  • Lock eyes
  • Hold hands
  • Kiss passionately
  • Tantalize each other with your tongues and lips

This position is truly meant to make you feel comfortable and confident, so it's perfect when done beneath or on top of the covers.

2 - Standing Up

Unlock a new level of intimacy by standing and facing your partner while you gently touch, rub, and stroke yourself.

Your partner can help by wrapping one of your legs around their waist so you can get better access. Being so helpful means they'll be left yearning for more

Your partner can help by wrapping one of your legs around their waist so you can get better access. Being so helpful means they'll be left yearning for more.

This position is very similar to the side-by-side, only this time you'll be standing up.

You can spice up the moment by:

  • Standing while your partner is lying down
  • Standing over your partner's chest

The standing position provides your partner with an unobstructed view of you as you pleasure yourself, and still offers the opportunity for you to lock eyes

3 - Partner Sitting on Top

Sitting on top of your partner as you masturbate gives them an up-close-and-personal view of your solo play sesh.

Your partner sits first, then you sit on their lap. This position offers an opportunity to explore a myriad of other sexual activities. For instance, you can be kissing and making out while you both stimulate yourselves.

When your female partner is sitting on top, it's easy for you to please her with your hands and toys while she pleases you with her mouth and hands.

Expert Tip

The straddle is the best position for allowing your fingers and hands to do the talking.

4 - Missionary Style

When it comes to mutual masturbation, missionary style is quite similar to regular missionary. One partner lays on their back while the other straddles them.

If the woman's on top, she moves her hand up and down your shaft while either of you finger her clit. It’s a great idea to bring out the lube for this position to make sure things are moving smoothly.

Best Positions for Mutual Masturbation for Gay Couples

There are many positions you can explore during partnered masturbation with a same-sex partner. Below, I discuss three of the best and most highly recommended positions that you’ll love.

5 - Side-By-Side

The side-by-side position allows you and your partner to experience a new level of intimacy and connectedness.

Body-to-body contact while masturbating allows you to create a magical and intoxicating moment. You can interlock legs, rub and stroke each other, and steal kisses now and then.

This position is ideal if you've been looking forward to orgasming together

This position is ideal if you've been looking forward to orgasming together. All the body-on-body touching, rubbing, and stroking will sync your pleasure and ensure that you blow your loads at the same time.

6 - One Partner Lies Back in Missionary Style

This is an ideal position for frottage, which is the act of sexually stimulating your genitals by rubbing them against the genitals, buttocks, breasts, thighs, or abdomen of another person.

You can lie on your back and have your partner sit or lie on top of you. In this position, you can try genital-on-genital frottage, where you press your penises together and grind your hips to allow the sensitive frenulum to be rubbed.

The orgasms produced from this position are explosive, whether you do it clothed (more like dry humping) or naked

You'll love looking into your partner's eyes as you kiss, moan, sweat, and bust a nut in this position.

7 - Sitting Face-To-Face

Another way to have an out-of-this-world orgasm is by sitting face-to-face with your partner as you both pleasure yourselves.

Sit face-to-face with your legs spread wide and excite your inner voyeurist by watching as both or either of you stroke, rub, or pleasure yourselves

Why Should You Try Mutual Masturbation?

Mutual pleasuring has multifaceted benefits for couples and individuals. For instance:

  • It’s an opportunity to teach your partner how to please you
  • It's a shared form of self-care and self-exploration
  • The vulnerability of the act allows you to connect with your partner on a new level
  • It's a stress reliever and mood booster
  • It's an all-encompassing sensory experience
  • It has better odds of leading to an orgasm compared to other forms of sex, like penetration
  • It's a sweet compromise for couples with mismatched libidos
  • There are fewer restrictions to mutual masturbation compared to other sex acts

Tips to Improve Mutual Play

Mutual masturbation looks different for everyone. The amount of pleasure and fun you experience will depend on the level of comfort you have with your partner and your masturbatory touch.

Once you find a partner you can be vulnerable with, you only need a few tips to carry you to the climax of the occasion:

  • Communicate openly to ensure you sync your expectations and avoid limiting each other's pleasure
  • Set the scene by tapping into all their senses, including sound, smell, taste, and touch
  • Maintain eye contact to heat things up, cultivate excitement, and build a deeper connection with your partner
  • Bring out the sex toys and accessories to stimulate your bodies for arousal and orgasms
  • Focus on more than the genitals, and try slowly touching your entire body

Best Sex Toys for Mutual Masturbation

The table below features some of the best sex toys you can use when masturbating with your partner.

Sex Toy


We-Vibe Verge Bluetooth Vibrating Cock Ring

  • Suitable for straight and gay couples

  • Compatible with the best sex toy app—We-Connect

  • Your partner can control the vibrations

  • Boosts sexual performance and prolongs the activity

  • Great masturbation aid for men with erectile problems

    Man Wand Vibrating Male Masturbator

    • Perfect for gay couples
    • Wraps around all penis sizes
    • The powerful massager and strong vibrator leads to powerful pleasure sessions
    • Can be used together with cock rings to help you cum quickly and stay hard for longer
    • Can be used with various sex positions

    Men's Handy Stroker Sleeve By Lynk Pleasure

    • Great for jerking off alone, or with a male or female partner
    • Discrete, portable, and fits most penis sizes
    • Takes the shape of your penis and stimulates the entire shaft and tip
    • Perfect for edging, delayed ejaculation, and stimulation training

    Thinking on buying a male masturbator?

    Our Mutual Masturbation Kit

    Explore mutual pleasure with our handpicked essentials, designed to enhance intimate moments together.


    Male Masturbator

    - Enhances solo pleasure for men with various textures and sensations.
    - Can be incorporated into couple play for added excitement and exploration.
    - Offers a realistic experience, promoting a more intimate connection during mutual masturbation
    Riley Reid Quickshot Clear Compact Male Masturbator

    VR Sex Toy for Couples

    - Immersive virtual reality experience fosters a sense of shared intimacy.
    - Enables couples to explore fantasies together in a new and exciting way.
    - Enhances connection by allowing partners to engage in synchronized, virtual intimate moment.
    Kiiroo Onyx+  Pearl2 Bluetooth VR Sex Toy for Couples

    App Controlled Vibrating Cock Ring

    - Provides hands-free pleasure with adjustable vibrations for both partners.
    - Couples can customize the intensity and patterns remotely for added spontaneity.
    - Enhances mutual satisfaction by delivering pleasurable sensations to both partners during intimate moment.
    Lelo Tor 3 App Controlled Vibrating Cock Ring for Couple

    Water-Based Sex Lube

    - Ensures smooth and comfortable sensations during intimate activities.
    - Enhances pleasure by reducing friction and discomfort, promoting a more enjoyable experience for both partners.
    - Compatible with various adult toys, including male masturbators and vibrating cock rings, for added versatility and comfort.
    Water-Based Sex Lube by Lynk Pleasure

    Go Forth and Enhance Your Sex Life

    Although mutual masturbation can be intimidating at first, you and your partner won’t know how to stop once you get the hang of it.

    What I’ve covered here is simply the bare minimum. There’s a lot more to learn and explore about mutual masturbation.

    But having gone through some of the best mutual masturbation positions around, you might be curious about where you might get a rich variety of toys to help you out.

    Fortunately, there’s no shortage of male masturbation sleeves that will provide tons of fun for you and your partner.

    Our Commitment to Quality Information

    Navigating the information landscape, our blog prioritizes human touch and accuracy. We use these elements as our compass:

    • Content for humans, by humans
    • Research and fact-checking
    • Reference to reputable sources
    • Collaboration with Experts

    Learn more about our selection process

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