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You’ve heard it before—sometimes jokingly, sometimes not: size matters

Typically, this overused phrase refers to the size of your male genitalia; specifically in relation to PIV (penis in vagina) sex. 

One way or another, size always matters—but what do we need to know about size when it comes to prostate massage? 

The prostate is a male-only sex organ located between the bladder and the penis. When discussing prostate massage, we refer to this zone as the P-spot, because it’s like the male version of a G-spot. 

Prostate massage involves penetrating a few inches deep in the anus to gently rub the P-spot area. This practice leads men to brand new sensations and incredible orgasms. 

If you’re new to prostate massage, we recommend getting started with our primer on prostate massagers. There, you’ll find all the basic info you need to get up to speed. 

Before trying prostate massage, it’s great to learn a bit about the organ itself and the vital role it plays in your sex life and overall health. The prostate provides part of the fluid in every male ejaculation, so it probably deserves more credit and attention than it usually receives. 

For now, let’s talk about size. Because, of course, size matters. This time, you’re off the hook—the size we’re here to discuss is that of your next sex toy purchase. The question at hand: when selecting a prostate massager, how big should you go?

Are Fingers Big Enough To Provide a Prostate Massage?

 image of two people holding hands showing a zoomed-in look at their hands and fingers

Using your (or your partner’s) fingers for prostate massage is certainly an option. In fact, this is likely how you’ll get started exploring this area of sexual pleasure. Using your fingers is a low-stakes way to get a feel for things before purchasing a toy. 

If you try this form of pleasure-seeking with your fingers, here are two key pointers that apply to any form of prostate massage:

  • Thoroughly clean your anal area and your hands before you get started
  • Never be forceful or rough with your movements

If you’re using fingers, you might want to wear a lubricated latex glove for added ease and cleanliness. 

Feeling finger penetration may or may not be a sensation that you enjoy. If you like it, then prostate massage is probably in the cards for you. If that’s the case, are fingers merely a tease, or can they “get the job done?”

Regarding size: fingers aren’t ideal. You need to achieve a few inches of penetration to reach the prostate area. That will max out the length of your finger. 

Average Adult Middle Finger Length

Male

3.3 inches

Female

2.9 inches

Info Source: reference.com 

With your finger(s) fully stretched out, you’ll likely find that this is an uncomfortable hand position to maintain for more than a few moments. 

The rest of your body isn’t easy to position, either, while your hand and fingers are occupied. Of course, the last thing you want while you move towards an orgasm is to feel strained or uncomfortable. 

Furthermore, prostate massage isn’t a speedy or rushed process. If you’re pursuing a P-spot orgasm, it can take up to 30 minutes of steady massage to get there. If you’re relying on hand strength to power the experience, you’re going to be wearing out those little finger muscles. 

Here’s the bottom line: fingers are great for getting started with prostate massage. Your fingers will always be there when you need them—but when you really want to pursue the peak sensations that prostate massage can bring, it’s time to buy a toy. 

What is the Perfect Size for a Prostate Massager Toy? 

a blue silicone anal plug prostate massager toy with a cock ring to improve sexual pleasure

“One size fits all” is not a concept that applies to sex; not to our body parts, our partners, or our toys. Fortunately, our options become more nuanced and personalized every year with more information, more products, and more freedom. 

Obviously, each guy will have his own unique needs and preferences. So, where to begin?

"Goes a little deep but feels great. This toy hits all the right spots and in the right ways… highly recommend it.
Adam, ★★★★★ Prostate Massager Verified Reviewer 


First of all, let’s quickly compare prostate massagers to their counterparts: dildos and other sex toys designed primarily for women. With those products, you’ll see much more variety—a wider range of sizes, shapes, and features.

The diversity in women’s sex toys reflects the variety of activities those toys can be used for. Clitoral stimulation, different sorts of penetration to varying depths, and so on. Toys range from tiny little vibrating devices all the way up to eggplant-sized monsters. 

Prostate massagers serve a more singular purpose. Therefore, toys designed to massage the prostate generally take the same basic shape (no eggplants, please). The size will vary somewhat, but not too drastically. 

The penetrable length of most prostate massagers ranges between 3–7 inches. Most toys will be right in the middle of that range. You simply don’t need more length than that to easily reach the P-spot.  

The only way to figure out how much length you’re looking for is by trial and error. 

"Perfect fit and does exactly what you would expect. I have always been excited at the thought of anal stimulation but it has almost never been a comfortable experience. This toy is just the right fit for a beginner and the vibrations are so strong and amazing.
Anonymous, ★★★★★ Prostate Massager Verified Reviewer 


Start small and work your way up. Unused length is okay, but the goal is to find an ideal length. That way, you’ll have a comfortable grip just outside of the entry point, and the outer portion of the device will comfortably rest around your perineum area (also known as the taint). 

prostate toys

Some toys are designed to simultaneously provide additional external stimulation along the perineum. So, a snug fit is optimal for maximizing the full set of pleasurable sensations that your massager can provide. 

Choosing the Right Width or Girth for a Prostate Massager Toy

black vibrating prostate massager sex toy for men, designed to stimulate the prostate organ

In addition to your massager’s length, there’s the question of width. Sex toys sometimes list their width, girth, circumference, or all three. The dimensions might differ at the head, shaft, and base. 

Width is entirely a question of personal preference. You might want the minimal width available in order to minimize pain and discomfort. Or, a bit of stretching might contribute to the overall pleasure you receive during prostate massage. 

Some standard sizes you can expect to see include widest-point widths of around 1–3 inches and circumferences of around 2–4 inches. 

Some toys are widest at the head, which is typically bulb-shaped to ease into place. Others, like bead-shaped toys, gradually increase in width. 

Your best bet is to start small with your first toy. A toy on the smaller end is likely to be perfectly capable of providing a successful prostate massage. 

Upsizing is often about pushing the envelope and expanding your comfort zone, which can be fun and exciting as long as you stay safe. 

Choosing the Ideal Prostate Massager Sex Toy

Nexus brand black prostate massager sex toy with a remote control for use up to 15 meters away

Guys venturing into prostate massage are often completely unaccustomed to the idea of being “the receiver.” So, thinking about the size you’re capable of handling can cause some uneasiness. 

The good news is that prostate massager toys are designed for a very specific purpose. The shape, size, and materials are all chosen with your anatomy in mind. Chances are, if your mindset is right, you can handle a typical massager toy. 

"What a pleasure… literally! The item came as described… and then so did I.
John S., ★★★★★ Prostate Massager Verified Reviewer 


Once you start shopping, you’ll be amazed at what’s out there: vibrations, remote controls, waterproof materials, optimized shapes and more. 

Where to Shop for the Best Prostate Massager Toys

a vibrating p-curve massager sex toy for men with remote control from the OptiMale sex toy brand

The Enhanced Male carries an incredible inventory of prostate massagers. We’ve got models designed specifically for first-timers, and we’ve also got exciting high-tech options with vibration settings and remote controls. 

prostate toys testimonial

Since prostate massagers are affordably priced, you might quickly find yourself building a collection. 

To learn more about the world of prostate massage, read our prostate massagers guide. Then visit our blog for one-of-a-kind commentary on all things related to men’s sexual health, wellness, performance, and satisfaction. 

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