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If you're curious about anal gaping and want to learn more, you're in the right place.

Anal play can be amazing - but there's nothing to say you shouldn't experiment with pushing the limits of your fun a little further. Adult performers make anal gaping look easy - but it's the kind of extreme anal activity that takes a little practice to do right.

In this guide, we'll explain exactly what you need to do to achieve anal gaping - and we'll include a few tips that'll help you unlock the incredible levels of pleasure that can come from this kind of anal fun.

How to Anal Gape (A Quick How-To)

Eager to get started? These are the bitesize essentials and steps:


For the best possible experience, you'll need the following items:

  • A good quality anal lube.
  • An anal douche nozzle, a hand pump, or an enema bag.
  • A saltwater solution (if you're using an enema).
  • Sex toys designed for gaping (optional - but helpful).

How to do it

  1. Start by thoroughly cleaning your rectum with your douche or enema.
  2. When completely clean, apply a high-quality, body-safe lubricant around your anus.
  3. If playing with a partner, establish the appropriate boundaries and safe words if appropriate.
  4. Start by inserting fingers or small toys into the anus. Make sure you're relaxed at all times, and try to resist the urge to tense your anal muscles.
  5. Work your way up to larger anal toys adding more lube if required and remembering to stay relaxed.
  6. As you insert and remove the larger anal toys, try to resist the urge to tense your anus - instead, allow it to remain relaxed and open.

How to know you have successfully done it

  • A feeling of pleasure: It should feel pleasurable to gape your ass.
  • Comfort: If you've worked your way up to an anal gape, it should be comfortable.
  • Your ass should be visibly open: Your anal canal should be stretched open when you remove your sex toy.

What is Anal Gaping?

Anal gaping is a form of sex play that involves the deliberate stretching of the anal sphincters to create an opening or "gape."

An anal gape is usually achieved through the gentle and slow use of an anal toy or through anal penetration.

To get the best result, ass gaping requires careful preparation, relaxation, and carefully listening to your body to ensure comfort and safety.

How does Anal Gaping Work?

To understand how anal stretching and gaping work, it's useful to know a little about your rectal anatomy.

Your anus consists of two 'sphincter' muscles - and both of these need to relax to get a successful ass gape. These sphincter muscles are rings of muscle that can expand and contract, a little like a thick, tight rubber band. We can relax the outer sphincter somewhat - but the inner sphincter needs to be gently worked open - a process that takes time and relaxation.

Diagram of the External and Internal Anal Sphincter Muscles

Diagram of the External and Internal Anal Sphincter Muscles

SourceNational Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases, National Institutes of Health.

For some people, the level of relaxation needed to tease your inner sphincter open just takes a few minutes - but for other people, especially those inexperienced in anal sex, it can take a lot longer.

The key to successful gaping is the gentle and slow use of fingers and sex toys - and plenty of lube of course! By starting with your fingers or small toys, you get comfortable with the sensations of anal play and learn to naturally relax your muscles.

As you increase the size of gaping toys you use, your anus becomes more and more relaxed.

The key to a successful game is to resist the urge to tense your outer sphincter muscle when the toy you're using is removed. Again, this is something that needs practice - but with time, you can get used to the sensations involved and completely relax. This prevents the muscles from tightening and closing a gaping asshole.

Commonly Used Elements for Anal Gaping

We've talked a little about sex toys and gaping toys - but it's worth being a little more specific and looking at the most suitable kinds of toys for anal gaping. The kind of toy you choose can make it much harder or easier to stretch your anal opening and keep it relaxed.

Best Toys for Anal Gaping



Anal Dilators or Trainers

These sets usually come with multiple plugs of increasing size, which allow for a slow and steady stretching of the anal sphincters.

Butt Plugs

They come in various sizes and shapes. Some even have a tapered design that gradually widens, which can be beneficial for training and stretching purposes.

Inflatable Anal Toys

These can be inflated to a desired size once inserted, allowing for controlled stretching.

Anal Beads

They usually consist of a series of spheres or balls that gradually increase in size, allowing for incremental stretching.

When it comes to materials, you should always opt for body-safe materials like silicone, glass, or stainless steel. These are non-porous and easy to clean - an important part of safe anal sex.

Toys that might make gaping harder



Toys with sudden size changes

Toys that suddenly increase in size without a gradual taper may cause discomfort and make it harder to achieve a safe and comfortable gape.

Very large toys

Starting with toys that are too large can make it very difficult to relax. It's essential to start small and work your way up.

Why do People Engage in Anal-Gaping?

Like oral sex, vaginal sex, and other forms of anal sex - the reasons for taking part in anal stretching and gaping are varied. That said, given that gaping is quite an extreme form of anal play - it's worth looking at some of the sexual dynamics involved to really understand where the pleasure comes from.

Gaping can be part of Dom dynamics

Some sexual relationships or encounters are based around the ideas of Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadism, and Masochism - or BDSM for short. In a BDSM relationship, one person typically takes the role of the 'Dom' (the dominant) and the other the role of the 'Sub' (the submissive).

Gaping lends itself to these kinds of dynamics perfectly - for a number of reasons



Power and control

When a Dom guides the Sub through gaping, the process requires trust, communication, and patience - all of which can enhance the power dynamic.

Intimacy and trust

Since anal and gaping require a high level of trust and vulnerability, the emotional intimacy between partners can be strengthened.


For some people, gaping can represent the sub's openness, surrender, and acceptance of Dom's control.


Owing to the huge amount of nerve endings in and around the anus, gaping can offer intense stimulation. When directed by a Dom, this can heighten the sexual pleasure for both people.

Gaping allows for playing with bigger toys

Of course, gaping isn't always about power play - it can often simply be about pleasure, whether physical or psychological.

For many people, the idea of taking a huge toy, penis, or fist is enormously stimulating.

The sense of fullness that comes from taking such a large object can trigger physical or psychological stimulation that's just not possible with smaller objects. Gaping can be a gateway to these larger objects - or a sign that your body has fully submitted to such an extreme insertion.

How to Prepare for Anal Gaping

Like any sexual activity that might push your limits, it's absolutely essential that you prepare for your anal gaping practice.

You should start by talking about consent and boundaries with a potential partner - before moving on to cleanliness. From there, it's all about selecting the right toys or practices to start your gaping.

Let's take a look at each step in detail:

1. Establish boundaries (if you're playing with a partner)

Before you start any physical preparation for gaping, it's important that you communicate with any potential partner about your boundaries and any safe words you might want to use.

For many people, it's a very fine line between pleasure and pain - so it's important you and your partner don't get caught in the heat of the moment and fail to recognize where that line lies.

Choose a safe word, then lay out any boundaries or rules you want to have in place and talk to your partner about them.

Gaping with a partner involves a lot of trusts. This can make the experience even more sensual - but it can also leave you a little vulnerable if you're not clear about dos and don'ts.

2. Empty your bowels

Since the sphincters you're playing with are the ones that control your bowel movements, it's essential that you make sure you've emptied your bowels before you take part in any anal sex play. Aim to use the bathroom 30-60 minutes before anal play before cleaning yourself externally.

3. Use an enema or anal douche

Although you're now clean on the outside, the anal canal can still be a little unclean. To avoid any unnecessary mess or cleaning up, it's a good idea to use an anal douche or enema before you attempt any gaping.

Your douche will have its own instructions, but you'll typically have to:

  1. Fill the Douche: Fill the douche with warm (not hot) water. Some people use mild, non-fragrant soap, but plain water usually suffices.
  2. Lubricate: Apply a generous amount of body-safe lube to the tip of the douche and your anus.
  3. Insert the Douche: Gently insert the tip of the douche into your anus. Be sure to relax your muscles to aid insertion.
  4. Squeeze the Bulb: Gently squeeze the bulb to send water into your rectum. Be careful not to use too much pressure to avoid discomfort.
  5. Hold and Release: Hold the water in for a few seconds, then release it into the toilet by relaxing your muscles.
  6. Repeat if Necessary: Repeat the process until the water comes out clear.
  7. Clean the Douche: Always clean the douche thoroughly with warm water and soap after each use, and let it dry completely before storing it.

4. Start slow and build up progressively

By now, you'll hopefully understand the importance of being relaxed and getting used to the sensation of having an object inside you. The importance of relaxation cannot be overstated - and an important part of staying relaxed involves progressing to larger, thicker toys slowly.

Insert your first gaping toy gently - getting used to the feeling of it inside you. When you're ready, take it out and get used to the feeling of keeping your anus relaxed. When this feels natural, move on to the next size toy.

It's a good idea to increase the girth of the anal dildo or butt plug you're using in 1-inch stages. Everyone's body is different, but for most people to get an open gape, you'll likely need to use a toy that's got a girth of 4 inches or more. Remember though - don't rush - it's better to take it slow than to have a bad experience.

Best Tips for Anal Gaping

Now we've explored the basics of how to anal gape - take a look at some tips from people who have plenty of anal gaping experience.

1. Use lubricant

If there's one tip that can apply to all areas of sex - using a good lubricant is it. That said, it's especially important when you're going to enjoy an anal session, as the anus doesn't create any natural lubricant.

What's more, the skin in and around your anus is particularly sensitive - so neglecting the lube can result in very uncomfortable experiences.

Anal sex is a little different from other types of sex - simply because the anus is usually a lot tighter than a vagina, a mouth, or a hand. This makes it easy for lube to become displaced. As such, it's a good idea to look for a thicker-than-usual anal lube that's going to stay in place and doesn't need lots of reapplication.

2. Make sure you have experience in anal training

Don't run before you can walk! Aiming for an anal gape shouldn't be your first anal experience - you should aim to have lots of anal fun under your belt before you try gaping.

If you're not familiar with the sensations of anal sex, you might decide to start with your fingers. Apply some lube, then insert one or two fingers and explore how it feels. When you feel ready, move on to a modestly sized anal toy and experiment with the sensations it offers.

There are lots of anal toys out there - from butt plugs and beads to anal dildos and prostate massagers. Each offers a different sensation - so it's a good idea to get a feel for what you like before you consider more extreme toys designed to make you gape.

3. Use toys designed for anal training

Think that any toy can be an anal toy? Think again.

The anus and your rectum are complex areas with many different muscles that you may not be able to relax and contract at your will. Very rarely, this will result in a toy being 'gripped' by your internal rectal muscles. This isn't a problem if you're using a toy that's designed for anal play - as it will almost certainly have a flared base that prevents it from being 'pulled' into your rectum.

Using a sex toy that's designed for anal penetration is a must.

As you can imagine, it can be uncomfortable to try to deal with a toy that your muscles won't release if you don't have the safety of a flared base you can rely on. As such, using a sex toy that's designed for anal penetration is a must.

4. Talk to your partner

We've talked about establishing boundaries with a partner already - but the importance of clear communication cannot be overstated when it comes to gaping.

Before you start your play, talk about what you'd like to achieve. Discuss taking it slow and building up to larger toys. You may even decide to use a safe word to prevent any misunderstanding when you really get into passionate play.

It's also a good idea to establish the kind of language you're going to use to explain what feels good and what doesn't. Dirty talk can be a lot of fun - but it shouldn't stand in the way of a comfortable and safe experience.

Are There Any Risks to Anal Gaping?

Like any kind of extreme sex play, gaping does come with risks. That said, there are steps you can take to reduce the chance of any issue occurring.

Let's take a look at some of the risks of gaping - along with things you can do to reduce or remove that risk.

Diagram of the Risks of Anal Gaping

Anal Tears

The skin in and around your anus is very sensitive - so overly rough or unlubricated play could cause small tears in the skin. Irritation or tears in this area could lead to infection, so it's important to be aware of this risk.

Tips to prevent

    • Usually, a good quality anal lube will almost completely reduce the chance of this happening - but it's important to work your way slowly through your toy sizes as another preventative step.
    • Needless to say, if you see any sign of tearing - such as streaks of blood (no matter how small) - on your toy - you should stop your play immediately and clean the area thoroughly.

    STI Infection

    Anal gaping - like any form of sexual activity - comes with a slight risk of contracting a sexually transmitted infection (STI). Perhaps obviously, this chance is very low when if you're playing alone - but increased if you're gaping with a partner.

    The risk comes from how fragile the skin is around your anus. Since the rectum's lining is thin, it can become irritated or injured easily - proving an easy entry point for infections.

    Tips to prevent

    • If gaping with a partner, it's important to use condoms. Condoms are suitable for many toys too - and it's important to change them before using the toy on anyone else.

    • You should also make sure any toys you use are thoroughly cleaned after use. Using an antibacterial sex toy cleaner will make sure any bacteria is removed and doesn't linger when your toys are stored.

    Irritating Hemorrhoids

    Anal gaping, if not done carefully, may irritate existing hemorrhoids or potentially cause new ones. Hemorrhoids are swollen veins in the rectum or anus that can be caused or worsened by excessive straining or pressure.

    Tips to prevent

      • It may be wise to avoid any anal play while you're suffering from hemorrhoids - they can usually be treated quickly with medications from a pharmacist.
      • If you'd still like to explore anal sex, it's essential that you're even more careful than you would be as you train for anal gaping. Use lots of lubricant and be very gentle - as irritating or rubbing against hemorrhoids could worsen the condition.

      Rectal Prolapse

      In some very rare medical cases, prolonged and excessive anal gaping is thought to lead to a 'prolapse' - the medical term used to describe the lining of the rectum slipping outside the anus.

      It's important to underline the fact that this is very rare. However, if you engage in prolonged and excessive anal play, it could increase the risk of this happening.

      Tips to prevent

      • To mitigate the chance of any issues relating to the lining of your rectum, you should make sure you use a good lubricant, only slowly increase the size of your toys, and take breaks if you feel like your body is getting tired.
      • You might decide to engage in some Kegels outside of your sex play too - an exercise that can help strengthen the muscles around your sphincter and rectum.

      How to Anal Gape: A Summary

      Whether you're interested in exploring BDSM roles or just enjoy the thought of the stimulation, anal gaping can be an immensely pleasurable experience - both physically and psychologically.

      Any gaping experience should begin with some preparation. Use the bathroom at least 30 minutes before you start - and use an anal douche or enema to make sure you're completely clean.

      You shouldn't rush towards the end goal of gaping your ass, instead, you should take it slow and work your way up using a series of toys or specific gaping toys.

      Needless to say, good-quality lube is an essential part of your play. If you're playing with a partner, discuss some boundaries and keep communicating - gaping can feel amazing - but unnecessary discomfort could put you off and keep the joy of gaping out of reach.

      Don't rush; relax, and keep applying lube as frequently as necessary - you'll be surprised what your body is capable of and how incredible it can feel when you learn how to anal gape!

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