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Men may be sexually driven by their own urge to climax, but when both partners share the pleasure of achieving an orgasm itโs a great feeling. Female orgasms can be reached through sexual intercourse alone, but it might not be as common as men think.
Research notes that females are able to achieve reliable orgasms during masturbation, but less women report the ability to do so during intercourse. The same research suggests that men think females orgasm more frequently than they actually do during sex. This observation was reached after comparing male estimates with reports from females.
An effective way to help women reach climax is through cunnilingus, also known as oral sex. This involves the stimulation of the vulva, through the use of their partner's mouth. Cunnilingus can be an extremely pleasurable act that can lead to intense female orgasms. This article explores the basics of cunnilingus, some tips for doing it well and how to do so safely.
Cunnilingus Basics
Before we explore some tips, you should familiarize yourself with the basics of cunnilingus. This will give you an understanding of the female anatomy, as well as the factors that can affect your partner's enjoyment when receiving oral sex.
Anatomy of the Vulva
The exterior part of the female genital region consists of the urinary tract and reproductive structures. These are collectively known as the vulva. The vulva describes the visible skin folds, which include the labia majora and labia minora. Other parts of the vulva include the clitoral hood, the clitoris (which has been called pivotal for female orgasmic function), the urethra, vulva vestibule, and the vaginal opening. Their layout has been illustrated in the diagram below.
What Influences a Cunnilingus
Although the concept of eating your partner out may seem simple, it might be more complex than you realize. Weโve explored a number of factors that youโll want to consider when performing cunnilingus in the table below.
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FACTOR |
DESCRIPTION |
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Position |
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Tongue movements |
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Pace |
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Stamina |
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Warm-up |
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Communication |
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Eye-contact |
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Top Tips for Unforgettable Cunnilingus
Now that youโre familiar with the basics of cunnilingus, we can move on to exploring some tips on technique. Youโll find a few useful tips to help you perform great cunnilingus below.
1. Start slowly
Although men may be able to become aroused and feel ready for action quickly, cunnilingus suits a subtle approach. Passionate kissing and slow undressing can help to build anticipation. Move on to kiss other areas such as her neck, breasts, stomach and inner thighs.
Avoid rushing things and arriving at your partner's vulva before she's had the chance to feel turned on.
Paying attention to other areas can help to create a full body experience for your partner. Subsequently, by the time you reach her genital region, sheโs likely to already be feeling aroused.
2. Keep her wanting more not less
The phrase "less is more" definitely applies to cunnilingus. If you start with a gentle approach, your partner will be left wanting more, feeling excited and aroused by the anticipation of your tongue movements and pace becoming more intense.
If you begin with fast or firm movements they may find them less enjoyable or even uncomfortable. It may also make it awkward for them to express their displeasure. It's always easier for your partner to encourage you to go "harder" or "faster" than it is to tell you to stop doing something.
3. Talk to your partner about what turns them on during oral sex
Ask your partner what turns them on (and off) during oral sex. This will help you to establish the techniques they appreciate, and avoid doing things that could kill the moment. Finding out what sort of position, pace and tongue movement they like gives you a good starting point.
Ask your partner what turns them on (and off) during oral sex
However, you should be considerate that some people don't like to spell things out and prefer it to happen naturally. If this is the case, pay attention to feedback during oral and make sure to take it on board to avoid frustrating them. This brings us onto our next point.
4. When she talks be sure to listen
Encouraging your partner to communicate with you will give you live feedback on how you're doing and help you understand what she enjoys. Responding to the feedback is crucial, as failure to do so may lead to your partner becoming irritated and losing their arousal.
For example, if your partner says "right there" take the feedback literally. They may be nearing climax and changing your technique in any way could lead to their orgasm being prevented. Equally, if your partner expresses that they don't like something, stop and don't do it again. They may become annoyed if you continue to do something they've told you not to.
5. Be creative with your tongue
Being able to execute different techniques with your tongue can be powerful during oral sex. For example, if your partner isn't reacting well to a certain style of licking, changing your tongue movements may do the trick. Here are a few examples of different types of tongue techniques:
- Up and down
- Side to side
- Circles
- Alternate movements
You can use your partner's moans or verbal expressions for feedback on her preferred methods. Alternatively after youโve finished oral sex, ask which movements she preferred. You may find that alternating your tongue movements helps to prevent it from tiring as quickly.
6. Find a rhythm
Establishing a rhythm allows you to form a baseline while stimulating your partner. For example, by creating a regular rhythm your partner will be able to tell you whether to speed up, slow down or keep going.
Establishing a rhythm allows you to form a baseline while stimulating your partner.
While it can still be enjoyable, sporadic movements without a consistent rhythm may make it harder for your partner to work towards an orgasm. Although variety is good during cunnilingus, being able to establish consistency is important, especially as your partner nears their climax.
7. Consider using toys
Introducing sex toys can be a great way to enhance the pleasure your partner experiences during cunnilingus. For example, if they respond well to vibrators, introducing one during oral sex may lead to even more pleasure for them.
You may also consider utilizing a penetrative sex toy while youโre using your tongue, or introducing your fingers. A bonus of sex toys is that if your tongue gets tired, you can let it rest while continuing to pleasure your partner.
8. Tell her to grab your head when sheโs liking it
Although your partner is likely to moan and verbally communicate when she's enjoying oral, sometimes being physical offers extra emphasis. A great way for your partner to let you know that she's enjoying what you're doing is by grabbing your head.
This may involve stroking your head, running her fingers through your hair or pulling you closer to her. Other ways your partner can be physical with you can include holding your hand or scratching you (providing youโre comfortable with this).
9. Try different positions
Using different positions can be a great way to keep things fresh during cunnilingus. You might consider switching positions during a single session, for example starting oral in doggy style before moving on to missionary.
Using different positions can be a great way to keep things fresh during cunnilingus
If your partner is struggling to reach climax, you may find that testing different positions may get you across the finishing line. For example, placing a pillow under her pelvic region may allow you to find a better angle to stimulate her sensitive spots.
10. Tell her how good she tastes
Positive affirmations can go a long way during intimacy and cunnilingus is no different. Making your partner feel good about themselves can be a great way to make them comfortable and heighten their arousal during oral sex.
You can start by telling your partner how good she tastes, using positive descriptors such as "sweet". Your compliments can extend beyond taste. For example, you might consider telling your partner just how much you enjoy going down on her, or how you've been looking forward to it all day.
11. If you get tired, utilize other areas of your mouth
If you're new to cunnilingus or are building up your stamina, you may find that your tongue gets tired before your partner has reached their climax. In which case, you can try using your lips to mimic your tongue movements. You may want to make sure that your lips are wet first.
By utilizing your lips, you can rest your tongue while continuing oral stimulation.
If done well, your partner may not notice that you've stopped using your tongue. Using lips may allow you to create added pressure as they're backed by your gum structure. You may also add some facial hair contact if that's your partner's thing.
Safety Advice
Rational thinking can escape us when weโre turned on. However, performing cunnilingus safely should be a priority. Failing to do so could lead to an unpleasant experience for both partners. Weโve explored a couple of considerations that you should take into account before having oral sex.
Can Oral Sex Spread STIs?
Yes, oral sex can spread sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Research suggests that cunnilingus may be a frequent transmission method for a number of STIs. Examples of which may include HIV, Syphilis, Chlamydia, Herpes and Hepatitis B. In order to minimize the spread of such infections through cunnilingus, be certain that your partner is not carrying a sexually transmitted infection. You may consider using dental dams, which involve putting a sheet between the vagina and your mouth during oral sex.
Hygiene Tips for Oral Sex
Good hygiene is essential for ensuring cunnilingus goes smoothly. You may be down there for some time, so making sure that the vulva is hygienic can prevent turn-offs. It helps if your partner has recently washed their genital area before you engage in oral. If you usually plan sexual activity, letting them know you want to go down on them will give them advanced notice. Alternatively, if you prefer a spontaneous approach try engaging in oral sex just after theyโve showered.
The Oral Sex Kit
Elevate your intimate moments with our Oral Sex Kit, crafted to enhance pleasure and foster deeper connection with specially selected items.
| PRODUCT AND HOW IT ENHANCES ORAL SEX | PRODUCT RECOMMENDATION |
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Wand Vibrator - Intense vibrations enhance oral stimulation.- Versatile positioning for targeted pleasure. - Heightens arousal and sensation for both partner |
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Flavored Oral Sexย Spray - Adds delicious flavors, masking taste and odor.- Encourages longer, more enjoyable sessions. - Creates a playful, sensory-rich experience |
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Vibrating Masturbation Sleeves - Hands-free experience intensifies pleasure.- Adds stimulation to increase sensitivity. -Versatile tool for solo or partnered play. |
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Couples' Vibrating Rings - Enhances stamina and pleasure for both partners.- Delivers powerful vibrations for intensified sensation. - Promotes intimacy and connection. |
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Tongue Vibrators - Vibrating stimulation intensifies oral pleasure.- Mimics oral sex with added sensation. - Perfect for exploring new sensations togethe |
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Summary
Cunnilingus can be an excellent way to make your partner feel special and help them achieve an intensely pleasurable orgasm. Although the idea of oral sex seems simple, familiarizing yourself with the vulva and the basics of cunnilingus may help improve the experience. Examples include understanding how position, tongue movements and pace may affect your partner's pleasure.
To deliver advanced cunnilingus, you may consider implementing some of the tips weโve mentioned in this article.
Good examples include learning what turns your partner on, introducing toys and finding your partner's favorite position. While cunnilingus is fun, you should always practice it safely. This means doing so hygienically and refraining from cunnilingus if your partner has an STI. While intended to be informative, this article is not a substitute for professional medical advice.
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