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Being overweight shouldn’t limit your sex life. You can still enjoy the fulfilling sex life you desire.  No matter if your weight is a lifestyle choice or a medical condition, there are ways you can and should enjoy a healthy sexual lifestyle that can help improve all aspects of your life.

For a person of size, focus on sex positions:

  • That help you feel comfortable when having sex
  • In which you don’t have to bear your partner's weight
  • That optimize the angle of penetration
  • That use less energy to prolong your fun sessions 

How does your body weight affect your sex drive and performance?

There are many studies that have been published on a person's sex drive and sexual function and its effects from body weight.  And with good reason.  Body mass, more specifically body fat can negatively impact many of your natural functions.

  • An increase in body weight can lead to an increase in sex-hormone-binding globulin, which causes the sex hormone testosterone to fall.
  • Due to a drop in the sex hormone, sexual desires and libido may decrease drastically, which can in turn impact your sex drive.
  • Research shows that sex drive is directly linked to body image and confidence.
  • Men suffering with obesity often find it hard to stimulate their sexual desires. As per many experts, obesity lowers testosterone in men, triggering a decrease in sex drive. This can directly lead to erectile dysfunction.

It is not all bad though.  Even if you have more weight on your body than is suggested by health experts, you can still enjoy a fulfilling sexual lifestyle.

This quick guide compiled a list of steamy sex positions that will allow you to experience the pleasure you and your partner crave.

I'll also provide some ideas of resources you can experiment with to bring some spice to the bedroom.

Did you know that high estrogen level also affects men's sex drive?

Here's our recommended blog for you to explore:

Position 1 - Reverse Cowgirl

The reverse cowgirl allows the receiving partner to set the pace and rhythm to their liking. It also offers the penetrating partner maximum pleasure with the least amount of effort.

Here, the penetrating partner lies on their back while facing the ceiling. The receiving partner sits on top facing the partner's feet.

The partner on top should lean forward so that their partner’s belly is not in the way. This will also make it easier to move up and down.

The partner on top should lean forward so that their partner’s belly is not in the way. This will also make it easier to move up and down

If you feel any discomfort, add some pillows for support and to bring your partner closer.

When you and your partner are in a comfortable position, ease into it. Find a rhythm that gives both of you pleasure until orgasm.

Position 2 - Woman on Top

This variation of the woman being on top is also referred to as the cowgirl position.

Here, the penetrating partner lies flat on their back. The receiving partner squats with their knees on either side of the penetrating partner’s hips.


This is the perfect position for achieving deep penetration without using too much energy. It also gives the partner on top control, allowing them to position themselves for maximum pleasure.

To master this position, the receiving partner should squat with both feet and knees rather than sit. This will ensure that their partner doesn’t bear all of their weight.

Position 3 - On the Lap

Having sex while sitting on your partner’s lap is very intimate and pleasurable for both parties.

With this steamy style, the penetrating partner sits on the edge of the bed or on a chair.

With this steamy style, the penetrating partner sits on the edge of the bed or on a chair

Once sitting comfortably, the receiving partner sits on the other person’s lap, facing them. The person sitting should position their legs on either side of their partner’s hips.

To add stability, the partner on top can support their knees with pillows.

This position offers eye contact for intimacy and deep penetration. Both partners can kiss and cuddle to add to the steamy session.

Expert Tip

If the partner on top is heavier than the penetrating partner, this style may be a little difficult. It can help to do this on the bed surrounded by soft pillows or on the floor

Position 4 - The Butterfly

The butterfly mimics the missionary position, but in this case the penetrating partner either stands or kneels on the edge of the bed. This style is not athletic, yet it offers comfort and deep penetration with ease. 

In this position, the receiver lies on their back with their butt at the edge of the bed. The man can either stand or kneel at the edge depending on what he finds most comfortable.

In this position, the receiver lies on their back with their butt at the edge of the bed. The man can either stand or kneel at the edge depending on what he finds most comfortable.

The receiving partner should part their legs in a V position to allow for easy penetration. If the receiving partner is at all uncomfortable, you can use a few pillows for extra support under the neck or back.

The butterfly position can be even more fun when you incorporate sex toys. For example, the penetrating partner can try out a silicone ring set.

Position 5 - The T-Square Position

The T-square position requires the receiving partner to lie on their back with their knees up in a V position. The giver lies on his side and enters through the arch left by the receiver’s legs.

This position is perfect for those who are overweight as it offers maximum penetration with a little effort.

This position offers comfort to the receiver while the giver gets to take control of the rhythm. 

Couples can add a little extra fun to this position by using a penis extension sleeve for maximum pleasure.

Couples can add a little extra fun to this position by using a penis extension sleeve for maximum pleasure

The penis extension sleeve boosts the confidence of the penetrating partner and improves their sexual abilities.

The penis extension sleeve will fill up the receiving partner, adding to their satisfaction. It’s texture is so real that you won’t even feel the difference.

Both partners will enjoy the extended size and girth that this sleeve offers.

Overweight Sex Myths vs Reality

Of course, those who are overweight may have limitations when it comes to sex, but this can happen to anyone, regardless of their weight. It doesn't mean that those who are heavier can’t fully enjoy a vibrant and adventurous sex life.

We want to bust the following myths and show you the reality with the table below.



Overweight people are too lazy to have sex

Don’t be surprised when your overweight partner really goes for it; their weight may not affect their sex drive at all

Overweight people will hurt their partners during sex

As long as the sex is consensual and both of you have pain receptors, you’re capable of finding positions that are comfortable

It’s hard to access the genitals of an overweight sex partner

All you need are the right angles and arches

Overweight people only have sex with other fat people

People of different sizes can and do have sex together

Some of these myths involve issues that can affect anyone, regardless of their size. However, they’re often associated with those who are overweight, which is unfair and misguided.

Other Sex Tips for Overweight People

No matter what size you are, sex is all about what feels right. There’s really nothing super special you need to know if you’re overweight. All you need is to be confident and prepared.

For example, adding pillows to elevate the receiving partner’s neck and back always makes it easier for penetration, which both partners will enjoy.

Here are some tips to improve your experience: 

Prepare beforehand

You want to make sure you have everything you need before the action happens. Regardless of your size, having to reach for the lube or prepare the place in the middle of it can really kill the vibe.

Have a think on what would make your experience better and make sure everything is ready when you need it.

Think about how to enhance your foreplay game, you both will feel more comfortable and relaxed if you take your time and get warm before you jump into the main action.

Use props to make you and your partner more comfortable

If you're big, it can be incredibly helpful to use props like pillows during sex. Not only you will feel more comfortable (and enjoy the experience much more) but you will also be able to reach and do positions that you wouldn't otherwise.

Try to prepare the props and practice to make the use of them natural and seamless. 

Communicate with your partner

Good communication helps regardless of your size. That's undeniable. Talking to each other during sex will help you understand your partner and will improve the overall experience.

It's also worth trying talk about sex with your partner to find out how they feel about it. Having that understanding will bring you closer and make it easier for both to satisfy each other. 

Learn some ways on how to communicate with your partner during sex

Use sex toys

Sex toys can be a huge game changer. There are now toys that cater for each and every necessity or desire. Think about what would make your sex relationships more enjoyable.

Whether is a bit more play, bigger reach or some vibration, there is definitely some device out there that got you covered. 

If you’re committed to making sure that both you and your partner are safe and comfortable, then there’s nothing standing in between you and the best sex of your life.

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Our Commitment to Quality Information

Navigating the information landscape, our blog prioritizes human touch and accuracy. We use these elements as our compass:

  • Content for humans, by humans
  • Research and fact-checking
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Learn more about our selection process

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