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Oral sex brings a lot to the bedroom for almost all couples. For heterosexual partnerships, it could be the difference between good sex and great sex, as it's common knowledge that while most men can achieve orgasm solely through penetrative sex, the women who do are far fewer.
In this US study of over 1,000 women, Women's Experiences With Genital Touching, Sexual Pleasure, and Orgasm, only 18.4% reported intercourse being sufficient to reach orgasm, 36.6% said they could orgasm during intercourse with clitoral stimulation, and of those who could orgasm without additional stimulation, 36% of them admitted it felt better with it.
And it's not just America. The findings from this study of Finnish women, Determinants of Female Sexual Orgasms (from the journal Socioaffective Neuroscience & Psychology), showed that despite being one of the most socially progressive nations, regularly positioned as the leader of gender equity (along with Sweden), still only 46% of women stated they regularly had orgasms during sex—a poor result compared to 90% of men.
And it seems women's orgasms are often just as important to their male partners as it is to them. The article goes on to say, "Men enjoy their partners' orgasms and feel they have the physical responsibility to stimulate their female partner to orgasm."
So, how do those men make that happen? What can we do to try and balance the figures?
"How partners can promote female orgasms – One way in which partners can promote female orgasms is by providing women with oral sex. The more frequently women receive oral or manual sex from their partners, the more often they have orgasms." - Determinants of Female Sexual Orgasms
And with that crucial quote leading the conversation, let's dive straight into our top cunnilingus positions.
1. The Standard
The Standard is the most basic of oral sex positions. With the receiver laid on their back, the giver lies facing them, their head between their inner thighs, perfectly placed to perform cunnilingus. It's the standard position for a reason—it offers direct stimulation of your partner's genitals in absolute comfort.
Taking the Standard position to a pro-level
Place pillows or cushions (or a specifically designed sex pillow if you've got one) under the receiver's butt to elevate their hips, providing easier access to the genitals.
To introduce a little powerplay, the receiver can clamp their knees around the giver's head as their partner goes to work on their vulva and clit
In this position, known as the Shark Fin or *Wrapped Eagle (*as opposed to simply 'spread eagle'), the receiver can control how much access they allow and the option to pull their partner's face in tight at the point of no return. It's a great position for those who love to be in charge.
If the receiver on the bed with their legs over the edge and feet on the floor, the giver has direct access to their partner's body while in a comfortable kneeling position. There may well be fewer stiff backs with this option, so it should be ideal for our older lovers.
2. Receiver with Legs Up in a V-shape
This is just like the standard oral sex position but with the receiver raising their legs and parting them in a V shape. They're free to bend their knees for comfort, but with the legs spread, there's unrestricted access to the vulva for complete clitoral stimulation.
Taking the V shape position to a pro-level
With legs spread apart, it increases clitoral stimulation, yet if your partner pulls their legs into their chest, it offers the same great access to the vulva and clitoris but with a different sensation and view. Sometimes called The Ball, Butterball, or the All Curled Up, it's a popular position for those who like to switch things up during their oral adventures and ideal for introducing sex toys to the vagina.
3. Receiver on a Chair, Giver on the Floor
Sitting, legs apart on a chair (or anything else that dictates the right height), the receiver is ready to receive pleasure. They're perfectly placed to administer a little hair-pulling while guiding their partner's head to their favorite places.
Sitting, legs apart on a chair (or anything else that dictates the right height), the receiver is ready to receive pleasure
Sometimes called the Throne or Heir (or Heiress!) to the Throne, this is a superb position for receivers who like the feeling of authority and power from their oral sex positions.
Taking the sitting cunnilingus position to pro-level
Why not throw a blindfold into the mix? That way, the receiving partner has nothing but the pleasurable sensations in their genitals to focus on. And if you want to switch up the power dynamic, tell them you're making the rules, only letting them orgasm when you decide it's time.
4. The 69
One of the staples of oral sex. While one partner lies on their back and the other kneels on all fours above them, the 69 allows both to give and receive simultaneously. Take turns with who goes where; add a few toys; suck, nibble, and lick anything you can reach—it's the Swiss Army penknife of oral sex.
Taking the 69 oral sex position to pro-level
Enjoying oral sex in the 69 position offers one partner the chance to be the dominant 'top.' However, for those extended sessions that are tough on knees and wrists, lay down facing each other's genitals and take things from there. It's got all the same great access but without the muscle fatigue.
Enjoying oral sex in the 69 position offers one partner the chance to be the dominant 'top.'
Alternatively, one partner can lie on a sofa or bed with their head and shoulders resting at the edge. This gives the second partner standing access to 69ing, taking complete control over thrusting into or grinding against their partner's mouth.
5. Receiver Facing Down “Doggystyle”
Also known as the Forbidden Fruit, the receiver takes the standard doggy-style position but rests on their forearms instead of their wrists. The giving partner then licks and sucks the receiver's vulva from behind.
Taking the Face Down 'Doggy Style' position to pro-level
With a butt in your face, if you haven't tried anilingus together, this is the ideal position. There's much to be said for anal oral, with thousands of nerve endings surrounding the anus.
For those a little apprehensive about licking one (widely known as rimming or a rim job), ease yourself into the fun with a Dental Dam.
Dental Dams are designed to cover the vulva and surrounding area during oral sex to protect the giver from possible STIs—just as a condom would with a penis. For anyone worried about the taste or transmission during oral sex or anilingus, a Dental Dam will help remove a few of those concerns.
6. Face-Sitting
Also known as Queening, the receiver kneels over the giver's face, rubbing and grinding their vulva against their mouth and tongue while the giver licks and sucks, responding to the motion.
Taking Face-Sitting to pro-level
Some lovers will worry that putting their weight or additional pressure on their partner's face and head could do all kinds of damage to their necks and backs—but we're tougher than you think. A conversation outside the bedroom will help you agree on how much pressure your partner likes and wants. Some will expect you to take more care, and others will devour you the more energetically you work your genitals against them.
7. Standing-Up
Standing up during oral sex is far more theatrical than many of the other oral sex positions. Those on the receiving end can push their genitals forward or lift a leg to allow the giver the access they need.
Taking the Standing-Up position to a pro-level
With your partner standing up, you're free to access their genitals and butt from either side. For those who like to be hygienically prepared, it can be an exciting option during a joint shower before hitting the bedroom.
You don't have to be in the shower, though; this is also an excellent option for when you're out of the house (or there isn't an opportunity to get more comfortable). The receiver can prop themselves up, back against the wall, with genitals thrust forward, to give access to the entire vulva, or alternatively, leaning forward to face the wall while enjoying their partner licking and sucking from behind.
With your partner standing up, you're free to access their genitals and butt from either side.
It's also one of the ideal positions to work a finger into and around the vagina or anus. Stimulating the G-spot can help deliver explosive orgasms and certainly bring something extra to your oral sex game.
Tips for Successful Cunnilingus
In the study, Going beyond “With a Partner” and “Intercourse”: Does Anything Else Influence Sexual Satisfaction among Women? According to the Sexual Satisfaction Comprehensive Index, the leading sexual behaviors that drove sexual satisfaction were kissing, cuddling, hugging, intercourse, masturbating their partner, licking and biting, and, of course, oral sex. Around 90% of those interviewed detailed giving and receiving oral sex as satisfactory to very satisfactory.
So, with most people already engaging in oral sex with their partners, what can we do to make our practice perfect?
1. Explore different parts of her body
As well as becoming acquainted with her vagina, vulva, and clitoris, find out which other parts of her body turn her on when kissed. There are erogenous zones all over her body, and kissing her neck and ears, behind her knees, or her inner thighs can all add to the build and anticipation of the most satisfying sex.
2. Take your time getting there
When it comes to female pleasure, it takes time. Unlike most men who can be ready to go at the drop of a skirt, women need time to relax, to mentally engage, and give themselves over to being fully aroused. To achieve orgasm, the optimal time for women to be engaged in sexual activity is around 15 minutes. So there's no reason to rush; consider pleasing your partner a marathon, not a sprint.
3. Consider edible lubricant
If you're not sure about oral sex or you're worried about the taste, edible lube has your back. In all kinds of flavors, it makes the experience better for both of you. Also, a generous handful of lube can make hands and fingers feel like a tongue or mouth when you need a break.
4. Add toys to the mix
Whether you're trying to add more sensation to the mix or you need a break for your tongue and jaw, sex toys are an excellent addition to almost any oral position. There are plenty of female sex toys that replicate oral sex through suction and manipulation of the clitoris and genital area. Are they as good as the real thing? There's only one way to find out.
5. Play with temperature
Having a bowl of ice cubes and a glass of warm or hot water close by can add an edge to your oral sex play. Alternating between an icy cold mouth and tongue to a warm or hot one can stimulate different sensations in her vulva and vagina.
6. Try the Kivin method
Why not try adding a little sideways flair to oral sex? The Kivin method suggests working the vulva and clitoris sideways while the giver lies perpendicular to their partner's genitals. Some women suggest it gets them to orgasm faster—why not see if your partner is one of them?
7. Ask her what she loves
We say this repeatedly, but great communication makes for great sex. Having that conversation outside the bedroom will give you both a chance to discover each other's ultimate pleasures, wants, needs, concerns, and limitations. It's the best way to prepare for what's coming, to understand each other, and to have a far clearer idea of precisely what you're going to do and how you're going to do it.
The Oral Sex Kit
Elevate your intimate moments with our Oral Sex Kit, crafted to enhance pleasure and foster deeper connection with specially selected items.
| PRODUCT AND HOW IT ENHANCES ORAL SEX | PRODUCT RECOMMENDATION |
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Wand Vibrator - Intense vibrations enhance oral stimulation.- Versatile positioning for targeted pleasure. - Heightens arousal and sensation for both partner |
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Flavored Oral Sex Spray - Adds delicious flavors, masking taste and odor.- Encourages longer, more enjoyable sessions. - Creates a playful, sensory-rich experience |
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Vibrating Masturbation Sleeves - Hands-free experience intensifies pleasure.- Adds stimulation to increase sensitivity. -Versatile tool for solo or partnered play. |
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Couples' Vibrating Rings - Enhances stamina and pleasure for both partners.- Delivers powerful vibrations for intensified sensation. - Promotes intimacy and connection. |
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Tongue Vibrators - Vibrating stimulation intensifies oral pleasure.- Mimics oral sex with added sensation. - Perfect for exploring new sensations togethe |
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Summary
Sexual satisfaction plays a significant role in healthy relationships, and according to this study in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, women are more likely to achieve orgasm through longer sexual duration (around fifteen minutes shown to be ideal) and with clitoral stimulation. If there was ever a more concrete reason to perfect our oral sex game, surely, this is it.
With our top tips and a selection of excellent new positions to try, you're sure to find something that hits the spot.
If you want your female partners to get as much pleasure in bed as you do, why limit oral sex to foreplay? Make it the main course, and you're far more likely to give your partner the climax they deserve. With our top tips and a selection of excellent new positions to try, you're sure to find something that hits the spot.