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In recent years technology has led to significant changes in the way we live. Distance has become less of a barrier, with dating apps allowing people to search for love across vast radiuses and find partners all over the world. Working practices have also changed, with remote work a common theme for many employees.

While we may have less geographical limits to our social lives, being able to maintain physical connections with people may prove more challenging. Research references studies that have shown living far apart can challenge romantic relationships, due to less opportunities for physical and sexual intimacy.

Struggling with a lack of intimacy due to long-distance relations can be tough. However, there are a number of ways that you can be sexually intimate with someone, despite not being physically near to them. This article explores some tips for improving your sex life over a long distance.


The techniques below are only recommended for consenting adults. You should never engage in sexual activity physically or remotely without a person's consent.

1. Share sexy photos

Getting a sexy photo from your partner can be a great reminder of how physically attractive you find them. Sending your partner a sexy photo of yourself can be a simple way to let them know you’re thinking of them intimately.

Sending your partner a sexy photo of yourself can be a simple way to let them know you’re thinking of them intimately.

The phrase “take a picture, it will last longer” rings true for long-distance relationships. Being able to look back at the sexy photos your partner has sent you when you’re feeling aroused can help you feel physically connected to them even when you’re miles apart.

2. Try video call sex

Although it’s hard to replace the real thing, video sex allows you to experience some of the features of real sex. Having video call sex allows you to hear your partner's voice, see their body and make eachother aroused simultaneously.

Some of the preceding sections can be utilized as part of video call sex, some of which include dirty talk, mutual masturbation and the use of sex toys. Video call sex can be immersive, so make sure that you use an interruption-free private space.

Discuss what you want to try beforehand. As with regular sex, video call sex can be planned in advance. This gives you time to discuss what you want to do beforehand, allowing both partners to plan for it and ensures that both partners know what to expect.

By having a discussion beforehand, you can be sure that both partners feel comfortable with each other's needs. This can help to avoid any potential mood-killing requests or awkward situations when the time comes for video call sex.

3. Talk about each others fantasies

If you feel comfortable expressing your fantasies to your partner, doing so can be a fun way to level up sexual intimacy. Although it may feel awkward at first, there’s no need to be embarrassed.  Female orgasm research shows this is a great way to expand your sexual horizons.

Having the discussion can be a great way to learn more about each other sexually.

While sex may be casual at times, it can take a level of trust before you’re willing to share your sexual fantasies and feel willing to accomodate someone else's. Sharing fantasies can allow you to express your commitment to fulfilling one another's sexual desires.

4. Send sexy messages throughout the day

People may send their partner messages during the day to let them know they’re thinking of them. Sharing sexy messages with someone is known as sexting. Doing so can let your partner know that your sexual energy is focused on them, despite being geographically distant.

You may wish to keep it simple with an instant message but you can be as creative as you want. If you know that your partner gets turned on by hearing you whisper, you may consider sending them a voice note. Just a heads up; it’s helpful to warn your partner when they shouldn’t open a message in public.

5. Assign yourselves sex tasks

Where long distance relationships are concerned, distance isn't the only challenge. Time Zone differences can also create barriers. For example, if you find yourself 8 hours ahead of your partner, finding a time when you're both free for video call sex may prove difficult.

Assigning each other sex tasks can be a helpful work around.

Tasks can be as simple as telling eachother what you're wearing, taking a picture for your partner or recording yourself performing a sex act of their choice. This technique allows for sexual intimacy even when both partners aren't available.

6. Try long-distance sex toys

If you’re a great distance away from your partner, it can be difficult to enjoy the fun of sex toys together. Long-distance sex toys offer a way to feel closer to your partner sexually. They do so by allowing your partner to have control of your sex toy anywhere in the world through the use of apps.  

Long-distance sex toys offer a way to feel closer to your partner sexually.

If you have opportunities for real-time sexual activities with your long-distance partner, an app-controlled sex toy (e.g. vibrators or butt plugs) may be perfect for you. Alternatively, if your time zone is more limiting, you may consider using other sex toys, such as molded replicas of each other's genitals.

7. Try playing sex games

If you spend a long time apart, you might be looking for some imaginative ways to be intimate. When “tell me what you’re wearing” gets old, making use of sex games can be a fun way to keep things fresh and exciting.

If you spend a long time apart, you might be looking for some imaginative ways to be intimate.

Examples may include sex dice games, where partners perform sexual acts based on the chance a dice roll. Or if you’re looking for even more variety, you may find fun games on your mobile devices app store. You can even play traditional games such as card games and make up sexual forfeits for the loser.

8. Try mutual masturbation

Mutual masturbation is perhaps as close as you can get to having sex over long-distance. Doing this over video call can offer added stimulation through hearing your partner and seeing them. Alternatively, doing so over instant messaging using pictures of each other can be a more discreet option.

Masturbating at the same time can be a fun way to know that you’re both feeling sexually stimulated while thinking of each other. Sharing how turned on you feel, or how you’re thinking of your partner can be an excellent way to heighten the pleasure that both partners experience and help each other reach climax.

9. Let them know you find them sexy

It’s important to replace the sexual nuances that we may often take for granted when we’re in a partner’s physical presence. For example, mimicking physical touches or paying each other sexual compliments may be less natural when you’re spending time away from your partner.

If you aren’t physically close, it can help to show your sexual appreciation for your partner verbally. If they send you a picture or show you an outfit, giving them sexual reassurances can make them feel good about themselves and reaffirm your physical attraction to them.

It’s important to replace the sexual nuances that we may often take for granted when we’re in a partner’s physical presence.

Send them sexy gifts. Purchasing a gift for your partner can showcase your caring and thoughtful side. The same applies for gifts of a sexual nature. Buying your partner a sexy gift can let them know that you’re thinking of them intimately and show you’re considerate of their sexual needs.

A good example of a sexy gift can be a sex toy. Your partner can use it during long-distance intimacy such as during video call sex. Another example would be a sexy outfit or underwear. Sexy clothes may naturally lead to photo sharing and create anticipation for your next visit.

10. Make the most of visits

By planning your visits and referring to them in conversation it can be a great way to have something mutual to look forward to. This can be especially helpful when using the techniques mentioned above. 

If you’ve sent a sexy gift, you can imagine how good it will look on your partner when you visit.

Alternatively, if you’re mutually masturbating you’ll be able to refer to how it’s going to feel even better when you see each other. You can use visits to leave something to remember each other by such as sexy gifts or giving your partner an intense orgasm they won't forget.

Tips for improving long-distance intimacy

If you’re looking for ways to improve your long-distance intimacy, we’ve got you covered. Below we’ve highlighted some tips for maintaining a good sexual relationship despite geographical challenges.

1. Make sure there is consent before engaging in any idea

As with physical intimacy, the most important aspect of long-distance sexual activity with a partner is consent. If your partner is not comfortable engaging sexually, you need to respect their boundaries. You should never initiate sexual activity without a person's consent, even over digital mediums such as sending photos of yourself or during video calls.

2. Be consistent

As with regular sexual intimacy, consistently satisfying each other's needs is key to a good sex life. Regardless of geographical barriers, you should aim to make acts of intimacy a regular occurrence. This can be made possible by using some of the techniques we’ve mentioned above including sending each other sexy messages, using long distance sex toys and scheduling in time for video call sex.

3. Have fun with it

Another crucial aspect of long-distance intimacy is having fun. Both partners enjoying the activities is crucial for building a consistent routine of being intimate with each other. You can utilize techniques such as discussing fantasies, buying each other sexy gifts and playing sex games in order to mix things up and keep long-distance intimacy fresh.

4. Counter your physical limitations

One of the main problems with distance is that you can’t feel each other's touch. However, instead of focusing on what you’re missing out on, look for ways to enhance what you can control. For example, spending time improving your verbal communication and dirty talk skills may help you to become a better all-round lover.

5. Don’t force it

Even among two consenting adults, sexual intimacy can sometimes feel forced. For example, if a significant time zone difference means one partner is tired, despite both wanting to engage in sexual intimacy things may seem off. Remember, intimacy extends beyond a sexual nature and it’s still possible to make your partner feel cared for and desired without the need to engage in sexual activity.

6. Communicate each others needs

Being able to satisfy each other sexually involves understanding what partners should expect from each other. For example, a person with a lower sex drive than their partner may become irritated by constant attempts to encourage sexual behavior. Communicating your sexual needs can help manage expectations, with some research even linking sexual communication to increased orgasm frequency.


Whether you’re in a long distance relationship, or just live far away from a sexual partner, geographical limitations can make your sex life challenging. Thanks to modern technology, there are a number of ways that a couple can work around such challenges. These may include being sexually intimate over video calls, utilizing long distance sex toys or assigning each other sex tasks.

Thanks to modern technology, there are a number of ways that a couple can work around such challenges.

Regardless of the techniques you use, you should always ensure that both partners consent to sexual activity prior to it taking place. Consistency and enjoyment are crucial factors for ensuring that a long-distance sexual relationship can be maintained, but it’s important to understand that you don’t always have to be sexual to show that you care for your partner.

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