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If you're trying to deal with the symptoms of erectile dysfunction, it can feel like your options are limited to pills and pumps - but plenty of guys want something that feels more natural, more intimate, and a bit less 'medical'. This is where strap-ons for ED come in.
Straps on are a practical, confidence-building way to keep penetration, closeness, and pleasure in your and your partner's lives - even if it feels like your body's not cooperating all the time.
This guide will walk you through how strap-ons work, why so many couples use them, how to choose one that's going to be right for you, and what to expect first time.
At a Glance
- Strap-ons offer a natural, pressure-free way to keep penetration and intimacy when erections are unreliable.
- Hollow designs let you stay involved even when soft, helping reduce performance anxiety.
- Couples can choose from many styles, sizes, and features to match comfort and preferences.
- Using a strap-on supports closeness, confidence, and shared pleasure without relying on medication.
- First-time use comes with a small learning curve, but communication and lube make the experience smoother.
Why Many Men Use Strap-Ons
If you're dealing with ED, you're not alone - it's a condition that most men experience at some stage in their lives. When erections are unreliable - or they disappear the moment sex feels like a possibility - it can leave you and your partner feeling frustrated, and can even lead to feelings of guilt or detachment.
Because of this, many men explore strap-ons because they still want:
- To pleasure their partner in ways that feel familiar
- To enjoy intimacy without worrying whether their erection will hold
- To remove the pressure that can make ED worse
- To keep sex enjoyable, spontaneous, and connected
- A solution that isn’t tied to prescriptions, side effects, or a clinical vibe
To be totally clear, a strap-on isn’t a "kink" unless you want it to be. At its core, it’s simply a tool for intimacy - a way to stay close, stay confident, and keep sex fun.
What Are Strap-Ons and How Can They Help?
A strap-on is a harness worn around the waist (and sometimes thighs) that holds a dildo or penis sleeve in place. Medically, a strap-on would be referred to as an 'external prosthesis' - but in everyday terms, it's really just a supportive stand-in that lets you enjoy penetrative sex even when you’re not fully hard.
When it comes to ED, guys tend to find that the most useful type is a hollow strap-on. These have a rigid or semi-flexible shaft with a hollow center where your penis sits comfortably. You don’t need to be fully erect to use one of these - you just slip your penis inside, adjust the straps for a secure fit, and you’re ready to go.
Although it's effectively a stand-in for an erect penis, the benefits go beyond just the physical:
- Your partner still gets the fullness, pressure, and movement they enjoy
- You stay involved, present, and part of the experience
- You remove the pressure to “perform” on demand
- You keep the emotional bond that comes through shared pleasure
In short, strap-ons don’t replace the connection you get from sex - they support it.
How Do Strap-Ons Work?
Most strap-ons work by following these steps:
- You step and/or slip into the harness
- You place your penis inside the hollow shaft
- The straps tighten easily around your body to hold everything in place
- You use your hips, hands, and body movement just like you would in regular sex
But there are plenty of variations so you can pick something that feels right for your situation, body, and partner.
Common Features & Variations
Here’s a quick overview of the different types of strap-ons that couples usually explore:
| FEATURE | WHAT IT MEANS | WHY IT MATTERS |
| Hollow shaft | Space inside for your penis | Works regardless of erection level |
| Solid dildo attachment | No hollow center | Good if you prefer extra firmness |
| Silicone material | Soft, body-safe, easy to clean | Best for comfort and hygiene |
| Vibrating options | Built-in or removable vibes | Adds stimulation for both partners |
| Different lengths & shapes | Slim, thick, curved | Helps match your partner’s preferences |
| Double-ended / dual penetration | One internal plug for wearer + an external dildo | Great for shared pleasure |
| Hands-free harnesses | Extra straps around thighs/hips | Extra stability for movement |
The key thing to know about this kind of product? There is no “one type.” Whatever you’re dealing with - softness, size concerns, sensitivity, stamina issues - there’s going to be a product type that works for you and your partner.
What Are the Benefits of Using a Strap-On if You Have ED?
There's no single benefit of using a strap-on - everyone's different, so everyone's going to get something unique from the experience. Generally though, couples find that they help maintain intimacy even when you're not hard, they help exploring fantasies, they allow for endless stamina, and they completely remove the pressure around performing in bed.
Let's take a closer look at each of those benefits:
1. Maintaining Intimacy
Although it often feels like the 'main course' to most guys, penetration is only one part of sex. Many couples find that strap-ons bring them closer because there’s no pressure or tension lingering in the background. You still get:
- Skin-to-skin closeness
- Eye contact
- Full-body involvement
- The emotional lift of seeing your partner satisfied
Some hollow designs are even semi-transparent or shaped to feel more natural, which helps everything feel personal rather than clinical.
2. You Don’t Have to Be Hard
This is the real core advantage: your erection doesn’t matter. Whether you’re soft, semi, or fluctuate mid-session, the toy doesn’t change. This fact alone removes the anxiety cycle that often worsens ED.
3. Exploring Fantasies
Using a strap-on opens the door to trying sizes, shapes, curves, and textures you may not naturally have. Your partner may enjoy something slimmer, thicker, longer, or more curved - there’s no right or wrong answer here. A lot of guys find using a strap-on can make sex feel like play again, not pressure.
4. Allows for Extra Stamina
Most guys experience premature ejaculation at some stage in life. With a strap-on, you don’t have to worry about climaxing too soon or losing hardness halfway through. If your partner usually takes a while to orgasm, the pressure is off. This means you can kind of use a strap-on like a sex toy - and enjoy the moment, adjust the pace, and stay present.
5. Removes Pressure to Perform
Performance anxiety and ED feed off each other - but strap-ons are the perfect way to break that cycle. When the expectation to “stay hard” disappears, a lot of men actually find that natural erections return more easily over time.
Different Ways to Use a Strap-On When You Have ED
When you think about a strap-on, it's easy to imagine they're just for penetration - but in reality, you can tailor the experience to what turns you on and what feels intimate to both of you.
Some options couple might explore:
- Wearing a hollow strap-on while receiving oral or manual stimulation
- Combining with cock rings, vibrators, or perineal stimulation
- Slow-paced, closeness-focused positions where bodies stay in contact
- Using hands-free harnesses that fit comfortably for different body shapes
- Mixing penetration with partner-to-partner touch - hands, mouths, toys
For some people, just getting back to the kind of sex you've enjoyed before might be the goal - but for others, sex using a strap-on lets you expand what's possible.
Introducing the Idea of a Strap-On to Your Partner
If you're feeling like a strap-on could be a good option for you, the next step is to talk to your partner about it. The trouble is, this can feel like it's a difficult or awkward conversation to have - but it doesn't have to be.
The key is to frame the conversation around shared pleasure - not either of you letting the side down.
Obviously, everyone's different - but a few ways to open the conversation might include:
- “I’ve been researching ways we can keep sex fun even when my erections aren’t cooperating. Lots of couples use strap-ons - what do you think?”
- “I want us to have great sex without pressure. There are hollow strap-ons that let us keep penetration without worrying about ED.”
- “I found something that might make sex easier for both of us. Want to have a look together?”
A lot of partners appreciate knowing that this is something you want - not something you’re reluctantly trying to fix.
It's a good idea to normalize the conversation by emphasizing that many couples use these toys, and it’s really only a tool to keep intimacy strong.
Buying a Strap-On: Things to Think About
We help a lot of guys choose the right strap-on for them - so we know the questions to ask.
Considering these following factors will help you find the right tool for your needs:
1. Size
Despite what porn tries to tell us, bigger isn't always better. It's good to start realistic. A slimmer or average-width hollow shaft usually makes positions smoother and more comfortable. If your partner enjoys more girth or length, you can purchase a larger attachment later.
2. Material
Typically, the dildo section of a strap-on with either be silicone or TPE. Silicone is ideal - it's body-safe, easy to clean, and offers the most natural sensation. TPE and PVC are softer but may be less durable.
3. Harness Comfort
Comfort is essential if you're going to enjoy sex. As such, it's a good idea to look for:
- Adjustable waist and thigh straps
- Soft lining
- A design that stays secure when you move
- A style that works with your body shape
A good harness should feel like part of you - not something you’re just trying to deal with to keep the show on the road.
4. Body Shape Compatibility
If you have a belly, wide hips, or a narrower waist, choose a harness designed for stability. Jock-strap and boxer-brief styles often work well for men who prefer something discreet and comfortable. Don't worry though - everyone's a different size, there's something out there that will work for you.
5. Cleaning & Maintenance
Keeping a strap-on clean is a non-negotiable. Silicone toys clean easily with warm water and toy-safe soap. You should always use a condom on toys if you’re switching between partners or want simpler cleanup.
6. Partner Experience Level
If your partner is nervous, go for something slim and non-intimidating. If they have more experience with toys, you can explore textured options, curved shafts, vibrating attachments, or more versatile harness systems. Naturally, if your partner likes the idea of something larger, it can be good to include them in the choosing process.
What to Expect Your First Time Using a Strap-On
So, you're ready for action - but it's worth knowing that it’s completely normal for the first session to feel different, maybe even a little awkward. Ultimately, you’re learning a new rhythm and adjusting to new movement patterns.
Wondering what to expect? We've tested countless strap-ons, and our testers will typically report:
- A learning curve (your hips lead differently with a toy)
- Some trial and error with straps and positioning
- The need for plenty of lube
- Lots of communication
- A gradual, slow build rather than diving straight into penetration
You may not feel the same direct stimulation, but many men find that the emotional side - the closeness, the confidence, the reaction from their partner - creates its own kind of arousal.
Alternatives to Strap-Ons
Strap-ons are one option among many when it comes to deal with ED. Here’s a quick breakdown of other options men consider:
| ALTERNATIVE | BENEFITS | WHY MEN HESITATE |
|---|---|---|
| Viagra / Sildenafil | Effective for many men | Needs prescriptions; side effects; not suitable for everyone |
| Pumps | Can support natural erections; non-medical | Requires a little prep; grooming pubic hair and stopping to actually pump |
| Penis sleeves | Adds size and firmness | Still relies partly on natural erections |
| Lifestyle changes | Supports long-term ED improvement | Slow results; not a quick fix |
The great thing about strap-ons is that they sit in a middle zone - they’re practical, immediate, and don’t depend on your body responding or long-term fixes.
Do Strap-Ons Work for ED? A Summary
Using a strap-on for ED isn’t unusual, strange, or a last resort. It’s a thoughtful, intimate way to keep penetration, closeness, and pleasure in your relationship when erections are unpredictable. It lets you stay involved, stay confident, and keep sex enjoyable without pressure or awkwardness.
Many men find that introducing a strap-on strengthens their connection, lifts anxiety, and brings back the sense of play that ED often steals. If you and your partner stay open, communicate, and approach it with curiosity, this can be a genuinely positive step for both of you.